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Animals ? - Thinking of Funny Memories of you and me

Horny Animals - Thinking of Funny Memories of you and me .....

Once more into the breach... ok, once more into the good old memories...
New Years Eve always has a way of making me think about the past. While most people are thinking about the upcoming “New Year” on new years eve and all it's possibilities, I spend it reminiscing about the by gone days. Maybe it's because I want to make sure I don't forget the past, or because I want to make sure the future will be better than the past [ you know measure up to expectations ].

But I was thinking about this funny moment we shared a couple of years back on a camping trip.
If you've read my blog for any length of time – you know that I love camping and have been doing it for years. Camping in my opinion is the best way to spend time with the family and kids. I have many great memories about camping. This particular memory that I remembered, I thought I just had to share with you [ ofcourse I had to draw a cartoon comic to go along with it so it took some time to share it with you ].

So let me start by explaining the “Horny Animals” part of my title with the comic:

camping family fun

So did you get the joke?

Let me give you the full details: we went camping with the in-laws [ her parents ], this was years before the kids came along. We were having a great time and it was always a custom of my mother-in-law to buy new board games to play for when it got dark. This particular year she bought this interesting word game [ can't remember title ] but the idea was to give your opponent a catch phrase and he/she would guess what the names of the catch phrase went with. So as we went along learning how to play the game, on one of my wifes turn she just paused and wouldn't speak. We kept telling her ii was her turn but she refused to speak. When I asked her why she said that she couldn't say the phrase because her father was present.

So, again I asked her why? She said the phrase was perverted. So I ask her to show me – that is correct it was: Horny Animals....

So first I laughed and then I said... “get your mind out of the gutter woman, it's Horny animals as in animals with horns. See the list goat, bull, cow …...”

She was so embaressed, we all luaghed for a good while and yes – I told my wife I was posting this and she is still embaressed about it.

What kind of funny memorries would you like to share? Please post it in the comment box below.

How to install a new Toilet ??? … for christmas???

How to install a new Toilet ??? … for christmas???

Strange Christmas gift #2

I will give you the steps to replace and install a new toilet bowl but first let me explain the above first.

Ok, this one will take some time so lets start at the beginning. There we were enjoying christmas break. The children anxously waiting for christmas to open the presents, the granparents had just finished moving down and they ask a logical question: “I believe the new rule is we only buy gifts for the children right?” We have a large family so we established a rule that all the adults would only buy gifts for the neices, nephews, only children. Because it can get very expensive to buy gifts for everyone.

So, the response was “yes only the kids”.... no problem right, simple and clear cut.

Well, the grandparents have been staying with us because their house was not finished [ which is ok with me ] but, the toilet started leaking. Water occassionally just seeped out from below the toilet which cuased it not to work properly [ eew …. ].

So being christmas week I didn't want to call a plummer or anything because it would be – right, expensive. So having two bathrooms I just told my wife that we would take care of it after christmas break. Not, I was wrong.....

funny strange giftsGrandpa, my father-in-law is not a person who waits. He is a take charge lets get it done kind of guy. So when I got home I found a brand new toilet sitting in the back of my car [ Rondo – put the seats down fits fine ]. So the next morning I ask why I have a toilet in my car. My wife's response “Oh, my dad bought it.” My response “ Why?” Her response: “ I don't know I told him not to but he said think of it as a christmas gift...” I puased as the thought of a toilet being givin as a christmas gift crossed my mind. I could not help but imagine briefly a child finding a large heavy box under the tree thinking wow I hit the mother load. Only to open the box and find – a toilet …..

So, after accepting our christmas gift [ toilet ] my wife proceeded to push to have the toilet replaced with the new one. Don't get me wrong, it is a really nice toilet with fancy button that conserves water [ by the way as you see in the picture: the blue button is half flush for wee wee, and the silver button is for full flush for #2, you know. ].

strange funny giftsSo, since I was afraid of what I might find, thinking the worst, I wanted to wait - get a professional. So, my wife took the initiative and started removing the old toilet …. Ofcourse I couldn't leave her do it all alone [ she knew I would do it if she started it ] so I helped her. I think it turned out pretty well – no major problem just had to replace the wax ring really but she wasn't going to let me just put the old toilet back.

But here is an interesting question: how many people does it take to put in a toilet?
Apparently it takes a village because My wife started it, I worked on putting the new one in, grandpa and even my brother-in-law all had to give a helping hand [ cuting some bolts, and minor stuff...... ].

christmas gift how to install toiletSo, this is how this year [ 2011 ] we got a brand new toilet for christmas. A gift that keeps on giving … or should I say taking … taking crap from us... I better stop.

So now here are a few simple steps on how to install a new bathroom toilet
Step 1: Disconnect the Supply Line
Step 2: Remove the Old Toilet
Step 3: Install a New Wax Seal
Step 4: Attach the Tank and Bowl
Step 5: Secure the Toilet and Finish Installation [ don't over tighten, may break flange ]
* Pray your floor is even and not like mine that I had to get shimmies to keep bowl from rocking and rolling.. moving.

If you want specific details visit: how to install a new toilet for full step by step instructions.

Strange gift for Christmas

Strange gift for Christmas: #1

Ok, Christmas is over, most people have already gone through the ritual of returning or exchanging the gifts they … umh didn’t like? Couldn’t use? Thought down right hideous? So I decided to share with you a couple of Christmas gifts I thought were kind of strange but did not or could not return.

I am going to separate them into two separate blog post because… I need more content? No, because one gift I personally bought and didn’t think nothing of it until I saw the Christmas day pictures of me and my son.

best gifts everNow I have shared you most of you that my son is a military buff. He wants to go to the army, be a marine, fly a airforce jet - everything with him is about shooting, blowing things up and car chases… not sure how that slipped into the military theme but he is a boy.

So here I am, a dad looking for a Christmas gift that will give me the biggest bang for my buck. You know - something he will love, enjoy and use for a long time [ I hope ]. By the way, my daughter got a laptop, not a strange gift but I thought I’d mention it so she didn’t think I forgot about her. It’s what she’s wanted for over a year now [ good, now she can stop using mine … smiling on the inside… ]

best gift everSo back to the boy.. I got him some X-box 360 games, military games and a halo one he didn’t have. But then I remembered the one thing he has been asking for, for more than a year…. a BB gun riffle.

Yes, it probably makes you think of that movie “you’ll shoot you eye out kid.” BB riffle. I have been avoiding getting him the riffle for that very reason - shoot himself, his sister or worst… shoots me in the eye! I didn’t want to worry about it… but as I did my Christmas shopping I apparently was not thinking logical - all I thought was: Man this is going to be great! He is going to love this, me and him can go out in the back yard and shoot some cans have some bonding time - he will love it. Which by the way he did, until he saw the video games… then I had to remind him about the dangerous BB gun riffle he got for Christmas.

best gifts everBut it did not dawn on me - about the dangerous part until I saw the pictures of my little boy standing with his dad holding the riffle in his hands. It did not hit me that I just put a dangerous weapon in the hands of a seven year old until I saw the pictures of him taking aim at the tin can… What was I thinking?

All these several months I’ve been trying to get him to forget about that BB gun riffle because I knew it was a dangerous thing for him to have …. And I eagerly buy it for him because it was Christmas? And apparently I am the only one who found it strange, odd. I expected the grand parents to say - you bought him what? But no, grandpa went out back and started taking turns with my son shooting at the tin can [ must be a man thing ]. I know I moved down south and guns here are sort of a right of passage - but as a Christmas gift to a seven year old?

But what I really find strange is that my thinking, my judgment, it all went out the window when it came to buying him the best Christmas gift i could? So, did I lose my senses, was I blinded by the Christmas season or do you think it’s normal? Let me know…..

By the way, I'm getting pretty good at hitting the tin can - I got Aim !
Next - the second strangest christmas gift.

STOP, DROP, and Roll you idoit ??? Funny

Ok, I couldn't help but reminisce a couple of days back as I shared a story with some family on our Christmas break. And as I remembered all the laughs [ at my wifes expense ] I thought to myself: " Have I ever shared this online on my blog"?

The more I thought about the silly incident, the more I wanted to share the experience with you. Ofcourse, being me I couldn't help but draw up a comic - after all, sometimes a good joke needs visual effects to make it pop. So I've drawn up a comic strip of the incident [ see below ] and I will explain the details below. After all, timing is everything right?

blonde joke yuthink

So, did you get it, did you laugh?

Believe it or not it was based on a true story.
We were on a family vacation in NY City, visiting family and as always missing the city since we now live in the south.... [ Florida ]

So my wife, my brother-in-law and I decide to take a walk around the old neighborhood. Now granted we missed the city, but we live in a bad neighborhood - and after a few years of quite country small town living, things looked scarier then we remembered.

So, all three of us are walking down the street, simply reminiscing about the good old days and for no reason at all my wife starts talking about being careful and being vigilant. These streets are dangerous and she couldn't believe how we grew up in them. That as children we never truly understood the dangers that were out here and that out children would think us nuts for growing up here, and then ...... BANG!

The noise shocked us all, but my wife, well she grabbed her brothers arm and started pulling him down to the grown [ ofcourse that was is impossible, the guy to a foot taller than her and weighs 200 pounds minimum ]. When we asked her what she was doing she said she thought the noise was a gun shot and was trying to do what she learned as a kid "Stop, Drop, and roll".

First, He and I burst out laughing, then we explained to my dear loving wife that "stop, drop, and roll" was for when you were on fire. Second, the noise was a car back firing, not a gun shot. Third, if it were a gun - you duck and cover.

We laughed a good long while after that. I still laugh today as I remind her of it - thou I think she doesn't laugh as much as me, more embarrassed and upset I that share the mishap with others.

I know, it sounds cruel. But these are the memories we will carry with us for ever. Memories that will help us laugh when were eighty years old talking to our [ God willing ] great grandchildren.

Funny 12 Days of Christmas Special - Harry Havery

Funny 12 Days of Christmas Song

Harry Havery, came and gave a wonderful christmas special. I wish we could have uploaded the entire funny video - he was great. But Youtube didn't allow such a large file to be uploaded so we [ with permission from the event creators and Harry Havery ] uploaded one of the funniest parts of the whole christmas special. The kids, especially the girls were screaming, laughing and going crazy. I myself had a blast.

Oh, those kids had me cracking up, I couldn't believe how they reacted to his song. I couldn't keep a striaght face, I was amazed that Mr. Havery could sing the whole whole without breaking down in laughter.

I hoped you enjoy the video, I hope you have [ had ] a very merry merry christmas and a happy new year. May your time be filled with joy, loved ones and peace. The holidays are and were meant to be a time of joy, rest, laughter and peace. Do not get lost in the hussle and bussle of the season and I plan and hope you do the same: to make the reason of the season last all year long.

I want my Free Juice - Adventure at Winn Dixie

Adventure in Winn Dixie - I want my Free Juice!

grocerydeals winn dixieLet's start at the beginning. My wife has her family down, we are low on food so we whip out our weekly Winn Dixie coupon flyer and figure out what we are going to get. Economy is tough and every dollar counts - so we want to be savvy, get those deals, savings and what not. After all groceries can be very expensive. So my wife goes online and tells me they [ Winn Dixie ] is having a special and she wants me to buy "10" V8 Splash juices and that we get 5 free. I thought impossible - she proved me wrong. She showed me the flyer and showed me online. Not happy about being proven wrong I decide to leave her home and go with my daughter - you know dad daughter family bonding time [ truth - get away from the misses time... ]

So while were having fun shopping and I'm driving my daughter crazy as she pushes this heavy shopping cart around the grocery store. Yes, I went and got the 15 V8 splash juices first. I'm thinking hey, this is a great day, having fun, teaching my daughter how to look for deals - what could be better.

discount savings dealSo I finish with the groceries and I go up to the register, I decide to ask about the buy ten for ten dollars and get 5 free V8 splash juices that Winn Dixie had online- you know to avoid any embarrassments. I show her the flyer; ask her if this is right, I saw it online? No problem, she says it's good.

Wait for it....

After she rings up all the groceries and their several people waiting behind me, she tells me that the register won’t give me the five free V8 splash? What? Double check that girl... So she ask the manager, who says that the deal is for the power aid drinks not for the V8. So I lose a bit of my temper and tell him that I see it in the flyer and saw it online - he tells me that the label is positioned wrong on the flyer it’s for the power aid. So I tell him that if it's too much trouble just take the juices back, but that I saw it online and it is on the flyer. So he sends the poor cash register girl to go check the isle and ofcourse she comes back and says there is no tag on the V8 isle promoting the 10 for 10 deal...

Again, I don't care - just take the five juices back. So this poor girl goes through my already bagged groceries and takes out 5 juices and then needs the manager to deduct them from my total. I leave but it bothers me, it eats at me... so after putting my stuff in the car, I drive off only to park again and tell my daughter to wait. I look up the deal on my smart phone and go right back into Winn Dixie. I couldn't find the manager [good because I probably would have caused a scene] and I told the register girl as politely as I could that they should take that deal off their website if they were not going to honor it.

groceries v8 splashI go home, tell my wife the long story and she calls the store - ofcourse the manager comes up with excuses. So my wife who did not want to give me the phone follows my angry directions to tell him to actually look online. No, go to the section on deals [ really, have to teach the manager how to use his own website? ]. Lo and behold - "yes, mam you are right. It must be a typo? How can I correct this?" My wife's response, "I would like my 5 free V8 Splash juices". His response, "ok, just come by the store and we'll have them here for you."

Ofcourse I wanted him to mail me the juices but my wife said let’s not push it. So now I have to go pick up these V8 splash juices and what bothers me about the whole thing - wait for it.....

I didn't even want to buy them in the first place, I'm fighting over juices my wife wanted not me? Do I really need that many V8 splash juices?

Update : They took down the V8 Splash deal of 10 for $10 and get 5 free. Ofcourse they have the orange juice for 10 for $10.... lets see what happens now?

Christmas tree feelings - violated

christmas tree happy new year
Christmas Tree feelings - Violated ?

It’s Christmas time and the Christmas tree is finally up.
You’ve probably have seen it posted up on face book. But did you hear about the feelings, the emotions, the weirdness that it brought on.

Family time is awesome. One of the most memorable memories one can have is of having the family gathering together to put up the tree and the decorations. But unlike most memories I am going to have this one memory of my nephew violating my Christmas tree for the rest of my life. Yes, I have proof - a picture can speak volumes.

Yes, not staged, not pre-empted, it just happened. The sickness, the horror, the emotional distress.

happy holidaysWell, except for the emotional scare that I will bare for the rest of my life - it was fun. Nothing compares to having those moments that you carry with you forever. Memories you make that are yours, memories that not only make you smile but bring warmth to your heart. The times we often dread, often avoid and later regret that we missed. Memories that that as a parent we cherish and enjoy when your child all grown up says “I remember when…” or “I want to do with my kids what we did when I was a child”.

Sounds silly I bet. But I was one of seven children who’s father left us when I was five. We were poor and went thru a lot of struggling times. We had many family occasion, Christmas, thanksgiving, birthdays even new years - where we had enough just to make do. As children we, I didn’t understand, all I saw was that we didn’t have, why couldn’t we be or have things like my friends had, Or what I saw on TV. Now that I am all grown up, I remember the moments differently: we didn’t have much but we had each other. We laughed, we cried, we fought and we now remember fondly. The jokes, the hugs, the family is what I remember. The toys - yes I probably would have like more or better toys - but where are the toys I received then, gone. But the memories, the good times, that I remember, that I cherish.

I remember one Christmas in particular where we had no Christmas tree, no decorations and very few gifts. All I wanted - believe or not, was a few He-man action figures and the grey-skull castle. I and my brothers & sisters some how got most of what we wanted - but what I remember most was the time I spent with my mom building that darn He-man grey-skull castle. That memory, that moment is still with me today.

happy holidaysAnd while I want to give my family and children all the best - I want to make sure that above all I give them time, laughs and memories that will be with them for ever. Even this memory of my nephew violating my Christmas tree - I hope - years from now will bring a smile to my face. So merry Christmas to all, have a happy happy new year and please remember to make memories that will not only last a life time, but that will bring merriment and joy to your heart.

Meet Barry Smith (wasp) WWII "first" Female Pilot

Today I meet Barry Smith... and I was amazed.

Barry Smith (wasp) WWII Female Pilot

Age 91, and still full of vigor and life.

She was here at my school to speak to the children [ our new generation ] about her life, her accomplishments, about being one of the only three hundred surviving First WWII American woman [ female] pilots of an original group of only a little more than 1,000.

She told the students of her struggle to work her way into the interview process of "first women Air Force pilots" and the interesting antics of being a woman pilot in a "man" only world. Being only elementary students only the adults seemed to understand that part of her speak.
She explained how she tested airplanes to insure they were safe for our "men" in the war to fly safely in combat overseas.

She told us about how When her brother told her to try out to be an Air Force pilot, how she had to accrue 35 hours of fly time just to get into the interview. How no one paid her way and money was scarce - she had to walk miles and even hitchhiked in order to get to a secluded airport to get her flying time completed.

* I thought I just had to get more information on her. That this may be the last generation to see a living hero, a survivor of an era that change not only that generation, not only our country, but the entire world. In twenty or forty years when I am old, there will be no one to say I was there [ WWII ]. Like the civil war, WWI it will be something you only read in books [ that schools force people to read, and maybe cut down to a foot note at best ].

How sad I thought, especially considering how this generation X is full of people who care nothing of history and like the saying goes "those who do not learn from history, are doomed to repeat it."

So below is an article of one of our Pioneer First Female WWII pilots. The government and the air force may have wanted to keep it secret, but it's out now and I hope we remember your sacrifices.

AVON PARK — Back in 1942, there were three meanings for WASP. In addition to the stinging insects and White Anglo Saxon Protestants, there were Women's Airforce Service Pilots.

But that name is something of a misnomer, said Barry Smith. Actually, so is her name. She was born Mabelle Vincent.

"I always hated that name," said Smith, "so a friend of mine named me Barry, after a male character in a book."

Now, about those WASPs. When World War II broke out in 1941, Barry's brothers, Art and George Vincent, were among the first to enlist, said Smith, sitting in the aviation room of her home, which overlooks the shores of Lake Denton. Both became pilots.

"George flew over Japan in between the first atom bomb and the second atom bomb," said Smith.

George did little sis a favor. Knowing she was the kind of girl who would respond to a challenge, he called and advised her to get pilot training. At the time, she was 22 and making $25 a week at the Syracuse, N.Y. telephone company office. The Air Corps would be taking women, George said, but only pilots with at least 35 hours in the air.

"I never had a second thought. I never asked anyone if I could do it. I just did it," said Smith.

Back then, it was safe for girls to hitch hike, so she bummed rides to the local airfield and enrolled in flight training. Eight lessons later – at $14 a week, paid out of that $25 a week salary – she soloed. By July 1943, she finished her civilian training.

By then, Pensacola-born Jacqueline Cochran, a pioneer pilot, had convinced the Army Air Corps that they needed to train women to fly. She organized and commanded the WASPS. Barry Vincent was one of 25,000 women interviewed in New York, and she was among the 1,830 accepted.

She was also among the 1,074 to complete WASP training and earn her wings. Brother George flew over to pin the wings on her chest.

Reporting For Duty

So she went to work, arrived at her Texas duty station, and found her commanding officer in a hangar.

"Reporting for duty, sir." She snapped a salute.

"Jesus Christ," he answered. "No sir. Barry Vincent," she said. But she called him Capt. Jesus Christ after that, said Smith, now 88, is still irreverent after all these years.

Since America wasn't in World War II at first, WASPs were sent to England as ferry pilots, they flew fighters and bombers from American factories to European military bases, where the men took over and fought the war.

Vincent's job was to test planes. She was rated for multi-engines, so she flew everything from open cockpit bi-planes left over from World War I to the AT10, a trainer.

By the time the WASPs disbanded in 1944, more than 40,000 Air WACs served at air bases in the United States and in other parts of the world.

In 1948, women became a permanent part of the armed forces. Women in the Air Force became known as WAFs, but the Air Force dropped that term in the 1970s. Now, both women and men are known as airman and about 17 percent of Air Force military personnel are women.


As for Smith, after the war, she never flew again as a pilot.

"Nobody would hire us," she said. Oh, Delta offered jobs as stewardesses. "We told them, we can fly anything you've got." That's true. According to archives at Texas Women's University, WASPS flew every aircraft, even the heavy bombers.

The rest of the story, for Smith, was that while visiting her mother in Sebring, she found her old flame, Lester Smith, who was an island fighter with the Marines in the Pacific. After Japan surrendered, Lester went to work for Smith Corona Typewriter Company, and they had four children. One, David, joined the Air Force and became an F4 Phantom pilot. These days, he flies all over the world for Northwest Airlines.

Lester and Barry moved to Sebring in 1985 to take care of her mother, who owned the Lake Istokpoga ranch that became Spring Lake. The family eventually sold it.

Smith, by the way, is not considered a veteran. The WASPs were civilians.
When they graduated from military training, they asked a general what was their rank.
"Pretend your officers," he instructed. And they did.

WWII femal pilots wasp

In this undated family photograph, Marjorie Ellfeldt Rees, exits an aircraft. Rees, now 87, is one of only 300 surviving WASPs, an acronym for women pilots in World War II

By Gary Pinnell Highlands Today
Published: June 8, 2008

Other sources:
WASP flies through memories as trail-blazing aviator
Aero News Network

Why aren't you Romantic anymore ???

Marriage, it's a wonderful thing.
But it also has a special kind of place if you will.
It is nothing like you see in the movies or Television. It certainly is not like what you see in the commercials. The reality of life as a married couple is more something like this......

It's not that when you get married you stop romanticizing about each other.
It is not that you don't desire each other, after all that’s how we got those darn kids....
It is not that we don't love each other.
The reality of life is that marriage - a true marriage [ a union of two that becomes one ] is so much more than what we fantasize about or is portrayed before us in cinema. The truth about marriage is .....

You know everything about each other.

They snore, they toss in their sleep. Hell, some of them fart in their sleep [ that‘s right I said it - I don‘t do it but I have a family member who does - camping story for another time ]. We see each other do things that single people do, but are too embarrassed to do in front of others. Why do you think single woman eat like a bird on a date but chow down like a horse at home. Do you really believe men don’t blow or in some cases pick their nose in real life. I remember a time when dating meant that you couldn’t even pass gas in front of your date because it was embarrassing. Granted, today’s society is a bit off kilter. Young daters today are more open to being “real” but lets face it. If a guy or a woman went on a date with you and on that first date passed gas, burped and scratched their ass at the dinner table... Would you think: Damn I’m marrying this one.

Lets face it people - marriage is not about Romance, that's for single people or players who want to live the fairy tale. The reality of marriage is knowing that one person so well - that you keep their disgusting habit’s a secret from the rest of the world. So why do people feel like they lost the romance - because they saw some unrealistic movie portraying what fairytale marriage or relationships should be. Wait until your ninety and your wearing adult diapers - where is the romance then…..

Funny Joke: The many faces of Santa Cluase

Ok, I couldn't help it, it's christmas. How can i not make a joke, a cartoon, a silly fopar [ did i spell that right? ].

funny santa joke christmas

It's the best time of the year... Normally I am not into christmas, atleast not for me - you know for the kids. But this year even with all the bad - I am enjoying the spirit of christmas ??? Singing and humming carols. I don't know what is wrong with me - my heart must have grown three sizes....

Veterans Day program @ Flag Pole - Memorial Elementary

This was a very touching moment.
I didn't realize many of my co-workers were veterans. When I saw not only my co-workers and several grandparents and family members of our student body present I was Amazed! It was also nice to see the large group that came to our school program to honor these brave men and woman.

I know this video does nt do them service, or fully portray the program as a whole but I hope you enjoy it.

We take forgrant many of our freedoms. I am not debating weather the war or any war is justifable, if it was money motivated or what not. All I know is that men and woman heard the call and put themselves in the line of duty, in the line of fire, to protect what we seldom cherish - freedom.

If you think all these wars were wrong - remember pearl harbor, remember mass jew graves, realize that other countries still have dictators who kill anyone and everyone that disagrees with them. Remember that while we all may not like some things in our country - we are free to complain, free to protest, free to speek up, free.... say it with me FREE.

The old adage is: those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And while every war, battle may seem evil, wasteful - imagine if we wait until the enemies of freedom are on your lawn, walking up to your door, takeing you away to torture and kill. Not possible - think 9-11, no one thought that was possible.

Respect the flag, respect the country, argue with the wrong but this "America" is better than anywhere else. Or else why would they be coming here?

Real Blonde Joke at The MALL

funny blonde joke
Ok, it has been awhile but this one was way to good - it is time for a real funny blonde joke. And by "REAL" I mean real. Not a joke but something that truely happened that happened to be funny and invovled a blonde. No, I can not verify her blondeness since it was sort of a bleached blonde kind of color - but she acted like a blonde.

Here we go:

I am working at the Mall for the black friday and christmas season and I am sitting in this kiosk just watching people go by. The mall is not bussy and there is not much to do, so I am just watching people to kill the time. I noticed that this one older blonde has passed by my kiosk several times. She seemed to be looking for something and she is looking at all the stores intensly. So about the fifth time around she stops to scratch her head [ thinking I guess ].

So to be helpful and to break the boredom I asked if I could help. She smiles and says - this sounds stupid but I've been trying to find linda's nail Salon. I smiled and asked her to turn around. The nail solon was right in front of her and with a big bold sign. She turns, takes a look and turns back to me and says: "Is that it?"

I just couldn't help but laugh. Yes maam, that's it. So she replieds. "I guess it's true what they say about blondes..." She thanks me and walks into the salon...

I know, a bit long but I wanted to give you the full account so you can get the full effect. It still makes me laugh.....

funny blonde joke
funny blonde joke

Happy Thanksgiving Video - funny & safe for kids

Happy Holidays - wait, which one is it again????
Oh, it's Thanksgiving !!! Happy Turkey Day.

I created this video for my son, for the kids at my school and for you. I hope you enjoy it, please feel free to comment, share with friends and family.
By all means please facebook, tweet, Digg and do all the Social network things...
Thank you.

Memorial Elementary Mad Science Night ?

Welcome all Mad Scientist.....
Ok, the only mad person was me. I am pretty sure some of our school guest must of thought I was a bit crazy as I went around like a mad paparazzi photographer taking as many pictures as I could.

memorial elementary science fair nightOh, did I mentioned that I would forget to ask if it was ok to take a pic.. After the shutter went click.. "oh, sorry - is it ok to take your photo?" You should have seen me, looking for all the right angles, sneaking up on people to get just the right picture... I was good.

All in all, the School Science night was fun, atleast for me. The funniest thing of the whole night was this one older gentlemen who for some reason or another would not let me take his picture. There he is with his child looking at this wonderful science project and I asked "hey guys let me take your picture?" So the kids pose and he steps back a bit. So I step back to get him in the shot and wait - he steps back again to get out of the shot. I even asked him to get in the shot in front of the science project and his response... was without a word to take one more step back. Wierd, really wierd? Really, I was starting to think that I should secretly take his picture and run it by the FBI, or atleast the sherrif. But no, a co-worker told me who he was and that he is well known at the school.

But again, hope you enjoyed the video because I had a great time with it - but please do tell me what you thought of the science song. I was a bit iffy on it?

What Men are really thinking?

What are men really thinking?
You have to admit, the age old question has gone unanswered for a very long time. But today I let all women around the world, or at least those who read this blog “What men really think about”?

You’ve heard it before - Men are from mars and Women are from Venus. But the truth is that what men are thinking about can be summed up into three categories. The first one is: physical, you know it I know it - do I have to spell it out. The second is: food, that is another given, full stomach makes and keeps a man happy. Why you think men love women who can cook….
The third is the one that has been kept secret from women by their significant others, boyfriend and husband. That secret will now be revealed to all of you today. To soften the blow I will share it with you in the form of a musing cartoon.

what men really think

So now you know.
The truth is out. What your boyfriend, Man, Husband is thinking when he has a smile on his face, and when you ask him, why he says: “Oh, I’m just thinking….” He is thinking of a funny way to make you, that’s right - YOU, make you silent. Hell, that is my politically correct way of saying “silence you for ever”.

Ok, I am sure your thinking impossible, no - bad joke.
But lets face it women - you have the same thought all the time. What? Did you think you were the only one to think about it. You know you have, you know you think about it at least once a day, for some of you, twice a day.

Yes, now that you know - that the reason he is smiling and doesn’t want to share his thoughts with you is because he is thinking about how annoying and stubborn you, yes you are and that when you get in trouble for not listening, for ignoring reason, because you know better - so why not let you drown. Yep, just like you - can you imagine that, man and women are more a-like than you or even I realize or care to admit.

Admit it, when we get lost because we “men” hate to ask for directions - you know your secretly thinking you wish “He” got lost alone and never, ever, ever turned up. Ofcourse we men never notice your thinking this because you hide it so well by complaining about what your man has done to annoy you at the moment.
Well, maybe you don’t hide it so well, you just over-react and men have a habit of tuning you out.....

Would you be mad if Zombies killed your Spouse?

Another apocalyptic "end of the world" zombie disaster comic.
But let's face it, a man and his true love should not be separated.

yuthink zombies wife joke

After watching another great episode of the AMC Television Show “ The Walking Dead “ I had this epiphany . A man and his true love should never be separated. I know for me, if the world came to any end, be it zombies or other crazy event – I cannot live without my cups of coffee. That is correct – cups, not one or two but several cups throughout my day.

I cannot imagine a life wife coffee.

Look, do not judge me or mock me – we all have vices. We all have our daily fixes, needs, hit, that we have to have. Me it’s coffee, for you it could be MTV? But in the end, we need something to make this life simpler, easier, nicer.
Ok, so you were expecting the cartoon to say he couldn’t live without his wife – but it would be funny if you expect it. Now the donuts, that makes you smile – even laugh. Why, because deep down inside we all know that we would do the same if it came down to losing your most needed substance.......

Kill my Zombie Wife Joke...

Yes, that's right! I thought it and I made a cartoon about it.
But it's not what you think... Get my explination below.

zombie joke kill my wife

I love the AMC T.V. show “The Walking Dead” and my wife has always been a fan of Zombie movies. As we watched “The Walking Dead” the question came up - “Would you be able to kill me if I turned into a Zombie?“

So it sounds cruel that I would think that if the world went to pot and we lived in an Apocalyptic end of the world event where Zombies roamed the earth.... “That I would kill my wife“.
Let me explain: The reason I thought this, and trust me - she asked and I did think it.
But, my reasoning is this: In every Zombie movie you have these characters that end up bringing death to the rest of the group because they just do not listen or think. You know, the Zombies are out there so lets walk around without any concern, leave doors open or worst - do something stupid like attract the killer Zombies to us when they were just told to shut up and stay still.
Me personally, I have always thought that every Zombie movie I ever watched left one fact out - that the group, in order to survive - would kill the idiot who would most likely get everyone killed. Ok, they don’t have to kill him/her or them ( there is always more than one ), but the group should at least get rid of them so they can die alone.

So why did I think this about my wife? Because knowing my wife... she would be the one to draw the attention of a hoard of flesh eating hungry Zombies because someone told her to be silent. And the person who told her to be silent... that would have been me. I can see it now, Zombies all around and she starts screaming about how rude it is of me to tell her to “Shut up”. As she rants about how I am not her father and I am no one to tell her to be silent, the Zombies come over, grab her, eat her and Honestly.... I run away.

Tell me you wouldn’t do the same?

Marriage : You can lose it... JOKE

funny comic marriage fight image

Ok, a bit on the adult side and a bit on the "Married with Children" [ Old TV show ] mentality. But any one that is or has been married should understand this joke. I personally find it funny becuase some how we believe it's normal for a relationship to change once you've been married a few years.
Wait: I didn't say relationship doesn't grow... I said change, like in I love chacolate before I was married and now I don't. Yeah, theirs the health, hormone and other physical issues.... But lets face it: there is only one reason any one gets married.... [ and for those who don't want to get married - hook up...]

What happened to my life - joke, funny comic

funny comic marriage fight image

Now this one is a sad sick joke.
This is just real life being funny. Who knew that when you were children dreaming about the stars, outer space, becoming the president of the United States of America. That your life would turn out to be this. Not that I don't love my kids. But give me a breal will ya.

Definition of Stupid - Now this Funny Comic I can relate to.

funny comic marriage fight image

This one is Funny but personal.
I created this comic strip after dealing with some family issues. You know, after knowing people for years you get to know them. You start to see patterns, you see them repeating actions and mistakes over and over again. I had this one family member who wanted my help and kept bothering me for advice, but this person was tired of me giving them the same advice. My thought was, "Well, you keep doing the same darn thing over and over. Stupid...."

Honey Moon is over Joke - funny comic strip

funny comic marriage fight image

This one comic is funny as HE*L. But it's been around a while.
I revamped an old joke my soon to be father-in-law use to tell me.
It went like so:

A guy and his girl are dating and the girl sees the moon, she ask "why does the moon hide". The young man says "because your beauty puts it to shame." A months later on another date the girl ask again: "why does the moon hide?" and the young man replies "because your beauty puts it to shame". The couple marries and a year after the wedding the girl now his bride ask, "why does the moon hide" and the young man replies "because it's going to rain stupid".

Marriage & Fighting - Funny, Silly Comic

funny comic marriage fight image

To be honest, I came up with this funny silly cartoon after having a long dragged out argument with my wife. No that we went to blows, but the truth is - we all scream at each other but most of us never really want to hit the other person. We're all full of empty threats... Well, most of us.

Pumpkin Contest - We were Robbed

pumkin decorating contest

Our school had a decorate a Pumpkin contest. We could not carve the pumpkins, probably because it would smell up the whole school - but you could still be creative with your ideas. I have to say some were very creative others... well, you be the judge.

Now to be honest, we were broken up into teams and until today - I did not know I was even on a team. But I have to say - my team with no help from me ( in my opinion ) did a great job with the pumpkin. Not that it made a defference since we didn't win the contest.

pumpkin decorating contestI do believe we were robbed, I don't know who or how the votes were counted but we did not win. But I took a few pictures of all the pumkins for you to enjoy and I hope you comment about which pumkin you believe won the contest. No, I wont share who won just to see if your guess is right? Happy Halloween guys.

Eat lot's of candy but don't come to my house for a treat - cause I wont have any. I will eat all my candy before 6 pm... Lol

Pumpkin Contest
Pumpkin Contest
Pumpkin Contest
Pumpkin Contest
Pumpkin Contest
Pumpkin Contest
Pumpkin Contest
Pumpkin Contest
Pumpkin Contest
Pumpkin Contest

Updated 10-24-2011
The Custodian Pumpkin Won.
I think they were creative too.

Halloween Scary fun video, child safe.

Always looking for something funny for my kids, but safe and appropriate.
I ran across this halloween video I thought was cute, nice and safe.
There is no sound, seems like it was created for a school [ meaning it's child safe ] to be played over school wide system.
Take a look.

I kind of like it, I dig all the halloween pumpkin carvings - wish I could do that. The last pics is halarious in my opinion.

Went online to find my favorite Halloween Pumpkin pics...

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