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Animals ? - Thinking of Funny Memories of you and me

Horny Animals - Thinking of Funny Memories of you and me .....

Once more into the breach... ok, once more into the good old memories...
New Years Eve always has a way of making me think about the past. While most people are thinking about the upcoming “New Year” on new years eve and all it's possibilities, I spend it reminiscing about the by gone days. Maybe it's because I want to make sure I don't forget the past, or because I want to make sure the future will be better than the past [ you know measure up to expectations ].

But I was thinking about this funny moment we shared a couple of years back on a camping trip.
If you've read my blog for any length of time – you know that I love camping and have been doing it for years. Camping in my opinion is the best way to spend time with the family and kids. I have many great memories about camping. This particular memory that I remembered, I thought I just had to share with you [ ofcourse I had to draw a cartoon comic to go along with it so it took some time to share it with you ].

So let me start by explaining the “Horny Animals” part of my title with the comic:

camping family fun

So did you get the joke?

Let me give you the full details: we went camping with the in-laws [ her parents ], this was years before the kids came along. We were having a great time and it was always a custom of my mother-in-law to buy new board games to play for when it got dark. This particular year she bought this interesting word game [ can't remember title ] but the idea was to give your opponent a catch phrase and he/she would guess what the names of the catch phrase went with. So as we went along learning how to play the game, on one of my wifes turn she just paused and wouldn't speak. We kept telling her ii was her turn but she refused to speak. When I asked her why she said that she couldn't say the phrase because her father was present.

So, again I asked her why? She said the phrase was perverted. So I ask her to show me – that is correct it was: Horny Animals....

So first I laughed and then I said... “get your mind out of the gutter woman, it's Horny animals as in animals with horns. See the list goat, bull, cow …...”

She was so embaressed, we all luaghed for a good while and yes – I told my wife I was posting this and she is still embaressed about it.

What kind of funny memorries would you like to share? Please post it in the comment box below.

How to install a new Toilet ??? … for christmas???

How to install a new Toilet ??? … for christmas???

Strange Christmas gift #2

I will give you the steps to replace and install a new toilet bowl but first let me explain the above first.

Ok, this one will take some time so lets start at the beginning. There we were enjoying christmas break. The children anxously waiting for christmas to open the presents, the granparents had just finished moving down and they ask a logical question: “I believe the new rule is we only buy gifts for the children right?” We have a large family so we established a rule that all the adults would only buy gifts for the neices, nephews, only children. Because it can get very expensive to buy gifts for everyone.

So, the response was “yes only the kids”.... no problem right, simple and clear cut.

Well, the grandparents have been staying with us because their house was not finished [ which is ok with me ] but, the toilet started leaking. Water occassionally just seeped out from below the toilet which cuased it not to work properly [ eew …. ].

So being christmas week I didn't want to call a plummer or anything because it would be – right, expensive. So having two bathrooms I just told my wife that we would take care of it after christmas break. Not, I was wrong.....

funny strange giftsGrandpa, my father-in-law is not a person who waits. He is a take charge lets get it done kind of guy. So when I got home I found a brand new toilet sitting in the back of my car [ Rondo – put the seats down fits fine ]. So the next morning I ask why I have a toilet in my car. My wife's response “Oh, my dad bought it.” My response “ Why?” Her response: “ I don't know I told him not to but he said think of it as a christmas gift...” I puased as the thought of a toilet being givin as a christmas gift crossed my mind. I could not help but imagine briefly a child finding a large heavy box under the tree thinking wow I hit the mother load. Only to open the box and find – a toilet …..

So, after accepting our christmas gift [ toilet ] my wife proceeded to push to have the toilet replaced with the new one. Don't get me wrong, it is a really nice toilet with fancy button that conserves water [ by the way as you see in the picture: the blue button is half flush for wee wee, and the silver button is for full flush for #2, you know. ].

strange funny giftsSo, since I was afraid of what I might find, thinking the worst, I wanted to wait - get a professional. So, my wife took the initiative and started removing the old toilet …. Ofcourse I couldn't leave her do it all alone [ she knew I would do it if she started it ] so I helped her. I think it turned out pretty well – no major problem just had to replace the wax ring really but she wasn't going to let me just put the old toilet back.

But here is an interesting question: how many people does it take to put in a toilet?
Apparently it takes a village because My wife started it, I worked on putting the new one in, grandpa and even my brother-in-law all had to give a helping hand [ cuting some bolts, and minor stuff...... ].

christmas gift how to install toiletSo, this is how this year [ 2011 ] we got a brand new toilet for christmas. A gift that keeps on giving … or should I say taking … taking crap from us... I better stop.

So now here are a few simple steps on how to install a new bathroom toilet
Step 1: Disconnect the Supply Line
Step 2: Remove the Old Toilet
Step 3: Install a New Wax Seal
Step 4: Attach the Tank and Bowl
Step 5: Secure the Toilet and Finish Installation [ don't over tighten, may break flange ]
* Pray your floor is even and not like mine that I had to get shimmies to keep bowl from rocking and rolling.. moving.

If you want specific details visit: how to install a new toilet for full step by step instructions.

Strange gift for Christmas

Strange gift for Christmas: #1

Ok, Christmas is over, most people have already gone through the ritual of returning or exchanging the gifts they … umh didn’t like? Couldn’t use? Thought down right hideous? So I decided to share with you a couple of Christmas gifts I thought were kind of strange but did not or could not return.

I am going to separate them into two separate blog post because… I need more content? No, because one gift I personally bought and didn’t think nothing of it until I saw the Christmas day pictures of me and my son.

best gifts everNow I have shared you most of you that my son is a military buff. He wants to go to the army, be a marine, fly a airforce jet - everything with him is about shooting, blowing things up and car chases… not sure how that slipped into the military theme but he is a boy.

So here I am, a dad looking for a Christmas gift that will give me the biggest bang for my buck. You know - something he will love, enjoy and use for a long time [ I hope ]. By the way, my daughter got a laptop, not a strange gift but I thought I’d mention it so she didn’t think I forgot about her. It’s what she’s wanted for over a year now [ good, now she can stop using mine … smiling on the inside… ]

best gift everSo back to the boy.. I got him some X-box 360 games, military games and a halo one he didn’t have. But then I remembered the one thing he has been asking for, for more than a year…. a BB gun riffle.

Yes, it probably makes you think of that movie “you’ll shoot you eye out kid.” BB riffle. I have been avoiding getting him the riffle for that very reason - shoot himself, his sister or worst… shoots me in the eye! I didn’t want to worry about it… but as I did my Christmas shopping I apparently was not thinking logical - all I thought was: Man this is going to be great! He is going to love this, me and him can go out in the back yard and shoot some cans have some bonding time - he will love it. Which by the way he did, until he saw the video games… then I had to remind him about the dangerous BB gun riffle he got for Christmas.

best gifts everBut it did not dawn on me - about the dangerous part until I saw the pictures of my little boy standing with his dad holding the riffle in his hands. It did not hit me that I just put a dangerous weapon in the hands of a seven year old until I saw the pictures of him taking aim at the tin can… What was I thinking?

All these several months I’ve been trying to get him to forget about that BB gun riffle because I knew it was a dangerous thing for him to have …. And I eagerly buy it for him because it was Christmas? And apparently I am the only one who found it strange, odd. I expected the grand parents to say - you bought him what? But no, grandpa went out back and started taking turns with my son shooting at the tin can [ must be a man thing ]. I know I moved down south and guns here are sort of a right of passage - but as a Christmas gift to a seven year old?

But what I really find strange is that my thinking, my judgment, it all went out the window when it came to buying him the best Christmas gift i could? So, did I lose my senses, was I blinded by the Christmas season or do you think it’s normal? Let me know…..

By the way, I'm getting pretty good at hitting the tin can - I got Aim !
Next - the second strangest christmas gift.

STOP, DROP, and Roll you idoit ??? Funny

Ok, I couldn't help but reminisce a couple of days back as I shared a story with some family on our Christmas break. And as I remembered all the laughs [ at my wifes expense ] I thought to myself: " Have I ever shared this online on my blog"?

The more I thought about the silly incident, the more I wanted to share the experience with you. Ofcourse, being me I couldn't help but draw up a comic - after all, sometimes a good joke needs visual effects to make it pop. So I've drawn up a comic strip of the incident [ see below ] and I will explain the details below. After all, timing is everything right?

blonde joke yuthink

So, did you get it, did you laugh?

Believe it or not it was based on a true story.
We were on a family vacation in NY City, visiting family and as always missing the city since we now live in the south.... [ Florida ]

So my wife, my brother-in-law and I decide to take a walk around the old neighborhood. Now granted we missed the city, but we live in a bad neighborhood - and after a few years of quite country small town living, things looked scarier then we remembered.

So, all three of us are walking down the street, simply reminiscing about the good old days and for no reason at all my wife starts talking about being careful and being vigilant. These streets are dangerous and she couldn't believe how we grew up in them. That as children we never truly understood the dangers that were out here and that out children would think us nuts for growing up here, and then ...... BANG!

The noise shocked us all, but my wife, well she grabbed her brothers arm and started pulling him down to the grown [ ofcourse that was is impossible, the guy to a foot taller than her and weighs 200 pounds minimum ]. When we asked her what she was doing she said she thought the noise was a gun shot and was trying to do what she learned as a kid "Stop, Drop, and roll".

First, He and I burst out laughing, then we explained to my dear loving wife that "stop, drop, and roll" was for when you were on fire. Second, the noise was a car back firing, not a gun shot. Third, if it were a gun - you duck and cover.

We laughed a good long while after that. I still laugh today as I remind her of it - thou I think she doesn't laugh as much as me, more embarrassed and upset I that share the mishap with others.

I know, it sounds cruel. But these are the memories we will carry with us for ever. Memories that will help us laugh when were eighty years old talking to our [ God willing ] great grandchildren.

Funny 12 Days of Christmas Special - Harry Havery

Funny 12 Days of Christmas Song

Harry Havery, came and gave a wonderful christmas special. I wish we could have uploaded the entire funny video - he was great. But Youtube didn't allow such a large file to be uploaded so we [ with permission from the event creators and Harry Havery ] uploaded one of the funniest parts of the whole christmas special. The kids, especially the girls were screaming, laughing and going crazy. I myself had a blast.

Oh, those kids had me cracking up, I couldn't believe how they reacted to his song. I couldn't keep a striaght face, I was amazed that Mr. Havery could sing the whole whole without breaking down in laughter.

I hoped you enjoy the video, I hope you have [ had ] a very merry merry christmas and a happy new year. May your time be filled with joy, loved ones and peace. The holidays are and were meant to be a time of joy, rest, laughter and peace. Do not get lost in the hussle and bussle of the season and I plan and hope you do the same: to make the reason of the season last all year long.

I want my Free Juice - Adventure at Winn Dixie

Adventure in Winn Dixie - I want my Free Juice!

grocerydeals winn dixieLet's start at the beginning. My wife has her family down, we are low on food so we whip out our weekly Winn Dixie coupon flyer and figure out what we are going to get. Economy is tough and every dollar counts - so we want to be savvy, get those deals, savings and what not. After all groceries can be very expensive. So my wife goes online and tells me they [ Winn Dixie ] is having a special and she wants me to buy "10" V8 Splash juices and that we get 5 free. I thought impossible - she proved me wrong. She showed me the flyer and showed me online. Not happy about being proven wrong I decide to leave her home and go with my daughter - you know dad daughter family bonding time [ truth - get away from the misses time... ]

So while were having fun shopping and I'm driving my daughter crazy as she pushes this heavy shopping cart around the grocery store. Yes, I went and got the 15 V8 splash juices first. I'm thinking hey, this is a great day, having fun, teaching my daughter how to look for deals - what could be better.

discount savings dealSo I finish with the groceries and I go up to the register, I decide to ask about the buy ten for ten dollars and get 5 free V8 splash juices that Winn Dixie had online- you know to avoid any embarrassments. I show her the flyer; ask her if this is right, I saw it online? No problem, she says it's good.

Wait for it....

After she rings up all the groceries and their several people waiting behind me, she tells me that the register won’t give me the five free V8 splash? What? Double check that girl... So she ask the manager, who says that the deal is for the power aid drinks not for the V8. So I lose a bit of my temper and tell him that I see it in the flyer and saw it online - he tells me that the label is positioned wrong on the flyer it’s for the power aid. So I tell him that if it's too much trouble just take the juices back, but that I saw it online and it is on the flyer. So he sends the poor cash register girl to go check the isle and ofcourse she comes back and says there is no tag on the V8 isle promoting the 10 for 10 deal...

Again, I don't care - just take the five juices back. So this poor girl goes through my already bagged groceries and takes out 5 juices and then needs the manager to deduct them from my total. I leave but it bothers me, it eats at me... so after putting my stuff in the car, I drive off only to park again and tell my daughter to wait. I look up the deal on my smart phone and go right back into Winn Dixie. I couldn't find the manager [good because I probably would have caused a scene] and I told the register girl as politely as I could that they should take that deal off their website if they were not going to honor it.

groceries v8 splashI go home, tell my wife the long story and she calls the store - ofcourse the manager comes up with excuses. So my wife who did not want to give me the phone follows my angry directions to tell him to actually look online. No, go to the section on deals [ really, have to teach the manager how to use his own website? ]. Lo and behold - "yes, mam you are right. It must be a typo? How can I correct this?" My wife's response, "I would like my 5 free V8 Splash juices". His response, "ok, just come by the store and we'll have them here for you."

Ofcourse I wanted him to mail me the juices but my wife said let’s not push it. So now I have to go pick up these V8 splash juices and what bothers me about the whole thing - wait for it.....

I didn't even want to buy them in the first place, I'm fighting over juices my wife wanted not me? Do I really need that many V8 splash juices?

Update : They took down the V8 Splash deal of 10 for $10 and get 5 free. Ofcourse they have the orange juice for 10 for $10.... lets see what happens now?

Christmas tree feelings - violated

christmas tree happy new year
Christmas Tree feelings - Violated ?

It’s Christmas time and the Christmas tree is finally up.
You’ve probably have seen it posted up on face book. But did you hear about the feelings, the emotions, the weirdness that it brought on.

Family time is awesome. One of the most memorable memories one can have is of having the family gathering together to put up the tree and the decorations. But unlike most memories I am going to have this one memory of my nephew violating my Christmas tree for the rest of my life. Yes, I have proof - a picture can speak volumes.

Yes, not staged, not pre-empted, it just happened. The sickness, the horror, the emotional distress.

happy holidaysWell, except for the emotional scare that I will bare for the rest of my life - it was fun. Nothing compares to having those moments that you carry with you forever. Memories you make that are yours, memories that not only make you smile but bring warmth to your heart. The times we often dread, often avoid and later regret that we missed. Memories that that as a parent we cherish and enjoy when your child all grown up says “I remember when…” or “I want to do with my kids what we did when I was a child”.

Sounds silly I bet. But I was one of seven children who’s father left us when I was five. We were poor and went thru a lot of struggling times. We had many family occasion, Christmas, thanksgiving, birthdays even new years - where we had enough just to make do. As children we, I didn’t understand, all I saw was that we didn’t have, why couldn’t we be or have things like my friends had, Or what I saw on TV. Now that I am all grown up, I remember the moments differently: we didn’t have much but we had each other. We laughed, we cried, we fought and we now remember fondly. The jokes, the hugs, the family is what I remember. The toys - yes I probably would have like more or better toys - but where are the toys I received then, gone. But the memories, the good times, that I remember, that I cherish.

I remember one Christmas in particular where we had no Christmas tree, no decorations and very few gifts. All I wanted - believe or not, was a few He-man action figures and the grey-skull castle. I and my brothers & sisters some how got most of what we wanted - but what I remember most was the time I spent with my mom building that darn He-man grey-skull castle. That memory, that moment is still with me today.

happy holidaysAnd while I want to give my family and children all the best - I want to make sure that above all I give them time, laughs and memories that will be with them for ever. Even this memory of my nephew violating my Christmas tree - I hope - years from now will bring a smile to my face. So merry Christmas to all, have a happy happy new year and please remember to make memories that will not only last a life time, but that will bring merriment and joy to your heart.
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