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Hate my job, very funny comic

Ever thought, I "hate my job".... Well, here is a funny comic that goes with a very true story about why people hate their jobs, their managers and usually dream of kiiling their Boss. You have to love this, what makes it funny and sad is that this really happens.
hate my joke funny comic

Did you like the "hate my job, funny comic" strip?
It took me 3 days to think up and create the art work.... it took a real life thirty minute experience to come up with the "hate my job" joke. No, really - let me explain.

I work part time for a cellphone retailer. I work about two nights a week, at the local mall, the night shift mostly. Since my manager did not provide me with a key to the bank night drop deposite box, I would prepare any deposite we have [ as well as paper work ] and I would leave it in the cash register for the next shift to take to the bank.

My manager had no problem with this, on several occassion I even called him and told him, due to the fact that I had no key to the banks night drop deposite box, that I was leaving the deposite in the cash draw for him to make the next day. No problem right? He knew about it and we've done it several times with no complaint from him.
Then out of the blue I get a call asking me where is a deposite from three weeks ago. I tell the owner that I left it in the cash draw where I always do becuase I do not have a key [ I hate my job funny comic started....]. Then a day later I get an email asking me what happened to the deposite, again I respond with more clearity: I do not have a key to the night deposite drop box, so I left it (ready to go) in the cash registrar draw.

Again, I get another email just hours later [ I really hate my job now ].... this email asked why didn't I take the deposite to the bank. So I responded in a more dumb down tone becuase maybe I was speaking above their intellect: Night drop box, has lock, I have no key, can not make drop. You think they would get it right?
A day passes and I am at the mall and I recieve a fax, it's from my manager. What is it you ask? Well, it's a write up sheet with my name on it, why, becuase I did not make the night deposite - drop... What? Well, what I really said can not be published here so, what? is what I will pretend I said [ I hate my job...]

Of course, my coward of a manager calls me an hour latter to see if I recieved the fax and to ask me if it was ok if I fax it back to him... What I wanted to do was stab him in the eye with my pen [ hence the funny comic ], my response - no, I will never sign that. Which in turn he asked me all surprised "why not?". I told him plainly - I do not have a key to the night drop box, how can I make the drop? Why would I agree to signing this form if it was not my fualt and you knew that I had no key and did or said nothing about it. His response, "Oh well, I know... But the owner wants me to write you up."

Now I know what you're thinking: were'nt you afraid of losing your job. No, this is my second job, not my primary place of employement [ God I hate my job, this job, my second job...]

funny silly joke imagesSo back to my story: What did I say,simple: "I'm sorry but I am not signing it..."
I don't know if I will have this job next week, I haven't seen the new schedual. But it does feel good to tell the idiot in charge - "shove it"... and that is the true story behind my I "hate my job funny comic", hope you enjoyed it.
Update: second employee to quick with in last three weeks - I am still working and manager almost begged me to work extra days. Karma is a *%&$#@! ?????

Special Gifts to give on valentines day - Dad not Happy

Special Gifts to give on valentines day - Dad not Happy

Do you need a special gift idea for Valentines day, mothers day, for your anniversary, have you thought of something that will say I love you because I took great thought and care in choosing this special gift or does it say you just got the first thing you saw in the Wal-Mart isle.

Special Gifts to give on Valentines Day


Yes, I had a wonderful valentines day, what I did not enjoy were the days leading up to valentines day. I remember when I was a kid, teen, young adult - how I spent hours trying to find the money first, then trying to come up with the best valentines day gift possible. I always tried to come up with a gift that had meaning, that made a statement, not just some “bling bling“. It could be that the reason I wanted it to mean so much was, because I couldn't afford to buy much “bling bling“.

special gifts valentineI do remember one valentine's day - I had an awesome idea [ hey it happens ]. I had extra money so I bought the largest valentine heart shape assorted chocolate box I could find. I went to a local shop and spent a large amount of money on a teddy bear that was just as big as I was - had to carry that thing four blocks to my girl friends house [ currently my wife.... guess the idea worked...Lol ]. I also shelled out some cash for a dozen roses. Then I went to my babies home [ thank god her Dad was not home ] and I asked her mother to put all these gifts in her room, on her bed if possible, which she did - no I did not go in, her dad would've killed me [ a whole different story..]. In the end, she loved it. In fact we still have that humongous teddy bear, it currently sits in my daughters room.

But now that I am my little girls dad, I found myself if my father-in-laws shoes: my daughter celebrating valentine with her special friend.

special gifts ideasSo here starts my story. My wife tells me about the gift my potential future son-in-law wants to give my daughter and wants , needs, my wife’s help in getting it to her [ weird, wonder why he didn't ask me? ]. Not so bad, I was out of the loop and I could pretend to not notice. But, there is always a but.....

Here we are enjoying our family time and my wife ask me to help her help our daughter to come up with a valentine's gift idea - a manly gift - for my little girls special friend. What, manly gift? Why is she asking me? The reason why was oblivious to me because I didn't want to get involved and was hoping I could distract her long enough to avoid this all together. The next thing I know, my wife convinces my little girl to make her special friend some chocolate covered strawberries in a decorated gift box.... what? Hey, that's my little girl!

special gifts for valentineSo again, I tried to avoid it, because after all ignorance is bliss. But my wife could not leave well enough alone - some how my butt was dragged to the store to help my daughter get the strawberries, the shinny metallic gift box, twine and a Oh, Oh, valentine's day card. It wasn't so bad to get the fruit, but when we went to pick out the valentines card, my little girl refused to pick out a card because I was present [ made me feel bad, no, more like suspicious... ]. Let’s just say that we almost didn't make it out of the store in one piece. And just to let you know, it was not my fault - in fact, I never did see the card she bought.

Ofcourse, it did not end there, we had to wait until the day before valentine's day because the chocolate had to be frozen and would apparently melt if prepared too early. So here is the family gathered around the kitchen watching my baby girl, with the help of mom - create her “special friends” valentine's day “special gift“. So, I grabbed the cell phone and started taking pictures - hey, I was not going to miss this opportunity. Oh, and I did tell her I was going to blog about it.

special gifts ideasIt was stressful, interesting and even fun. My wife found out at the last minute, or so she says, that she had to bring a dish for a valentine's day lunch they were having at work - so I sadly enough did not enjoy not one of those yummy chocolate strawberry delights. Even though every one else did - so unfair.

Just to let you know, my baby like girl arrived home from school with some chocolate, a small little valentine teddy bear and a valentine card from her special friend. I am working up the courage to ask my baby girl if he enjoyed the special gift? That didn’t sound right…….. Forget that, I’m not asking.



special gifts ideasspecial gifts ideas yummyspecial gifts valentine

Baby Shower - the things women do in secret?


Baby Shower and the things women do in secret - yeah, I said it.

When my wife, I say my wife becuase last time I checked - I can not create or birth babies, so when my wife was pregnant with our first child I was dragged to my first baby shower. I was dragged there, I sat in a corner and tried very hard to blend into the wall hoping no one would notice me.
When our second child came along, again I was forced to attend the baby shower. At least at this baby shower I had another husband who was dragged to this wonderful [ womens only ] event. I could ignore most of what was going on as I tried to save my manhood as the only other male figure at this baby shower, we talked sports, cars and our shame as we watched these women talk baby, play baby games and so much more.

So, why am I writting about a "Baby Shower and the secrets women keep", becuase I thought that having no future plans to add to my brood [ children ], I thought I could avoid any other baby shower that came along, atleast until my baby girl was fourty got married and had kids at the age of eighty years old.... yes, I am that kind of dad.

But I digress.. sound smart do I not?

baby shower funny womenSo here I am working in the school system and as most schools go, it is over run by women [ not as luxurius as it sounds men ]. So as a happily married man I do alot to avoid uncomfortable situations and a healthy fear of women who confuse politness with a come on - I do alot to keep everything professional. But even with all my best efforts, I find myself watching and involved in the craziness of women activities. There are only 7 men out of a 25 women populace.... And since I manage and maintain the school website, I am expected to be at every event held at the school in order to take pictures and so forth. So even while I thought I would never see another baby shower - I was dragged into a surprise "Baby Shower" and forced to be involved as I took pictures and was obligated to not only be present but attentive of the baby shower event.

baby shower announcementSo there I was, I learned that women do some strange things when they are all grouped together [ I gues like men do ], I think they were a bit conservative becuase they were conciouse of my presence and my so very obviouse camera documenting their every move.

I watched these women talk about what is usually private "talk", they played some fun games as in "baseball diaper game" - where they rolled up diapers into balls which they swatted with a bat into a basket [ atleast that was the goal ]. They created and colored a "Alphabet book" for the new born - watching grown women struggle as they tried to figure out which color they should use to color a letter was strange. But the main event of the baby Shower was the "Pick the Poo" game. That is right, pick the poo game, it is exactly what it sounds like.... Lol.

baby showerIt was a struggle to get some of the pics I did of teachers smelling dirty diapers... ok, i admit it is not what it sounds. apparently someone takes a bunch of different kinds of chocolate and melts them down and individually smears each [ as to make look like Poo ] diaper and the purpose is to have each game player figure out which diaper holds which chocolate: twix, hershy bar, m&m, and others.

It was funny, watching each woman trying to excape my all seeing camera eye as they smalled upclose each diaper to decifer which chacolate "poo" was which... Like I said, women do wierd things and they say men are strange.

baby shower
baby shower


Funny cartoons images, offend politically correct?

Oh you're kidding me - this is funny, sick, hilarious and crazy. I can't believe this hasn't started some out cry from the over politically correct that can't take a joke. Oh, Oh look out they've com to shut down the internet...

funny cartoons images

That's right - I know it's wrong but it did makes me laugh..

What about this one, tell me what you think?

funny images cartoons pictures

Oh, no you didn't! You know this one is funny, except for the fact that I actually had a friend post a picture of his wife after giving birth with some bag covering her "parts" ???? No it was not pretty, nope, no... Child birth is wonderful - but please, let’s not share so much details… not a kodak moment.

Please leave a comment - I want to hear from you.

And remember to get social - FB like us, digg, twiter and so forth.
Thank you.

How to be Saving Money on Gas at the Pump

How to "Save money on Gas" at the Pump

The question is: How to save money on gas? Why, because it is getting expensive. When I first moved to Florida people were complaining about paying $1.25 dollars per gallon - today the news was reporting that we may be looking at paying $.50 dollars and even possible upto $5 dollars a gallon for gas at the pump. It makes me sick.

Now I know what you’re saying - "I don't need tips on how to conserve gas, I need to save money on gas". Your right - but with that said: first you should learn a few tips on how to conserve gasoline and to control consumption. After all, even if you paid less for gas, using more only means you are still wasting money because of misuse and mismanagement.

So you will find a few tips on how to conserve gas in order to save money on gas in oder to control your cost. You will find 8 basic good tips at the end of this article.

Saving money on gas at the Pump

saving money on gasSo, my goal has been to save gas at the pump - yes I've heard people say they save money by comparing prices at different gas stations - great tip, but I want more. I wanted to actually save money by paying less at the pump - and I found it.

This is not a joke or a scam - saving money at the pump. How? I go shopping....

Yes I was trying to be funny but that is how I am saving money on gas at the pump. No tricks - I just took advantage of the offer they were offering. I you have a winn-dixie next to you - you have probably already know, if not, find a winn-dixie.

I love winn-dixie because of the great BOGO [ Buy one get one free ] deals they offer. I drive an extra 15 miles out of my way passing other grocery stores because of the BOGO deals. But on top of that they offer you a discount for buying any winn-dixie products. But, it even gets better. They have products that promise to give members gas discounts right at the pump [ Kaching ].

For example: I got my mother hooked on buying at winn-dixie and gave her my extra membership card for her to use so she could get extra deals [ on grocery ]. So I go to my participating gasoline station [ I was already going there any way ] and swipe my winn-dixie member card and the pump tells me if I have any savings coming to me: You will save $0.50 cents per gallon up to 20 gallons.... 50 cents multiplied by 20 equals $10. I love savings.
saving money on gas
No, if your thinking this is an everyday thing and that you always save 50 cents per gallon - no, it doesn't work that way. But you have to eat, if your anything like me you have to shop for groceries every 2 weeks. If your my mother-in-law she shops almost every week. So if you add in the savings you get at the store and if you buy the products that give you that Gas saving deal - you can be saving a lot.

But if you want to only conserve gas tips:

Car maintenance
1. Keep the tires inflated properly. This one is simple and a potential lifesaver. Underinflated tires waste fuel and wear out the tire tread. Also, check tires regularly for alignment and balance.

2. A well-tuned engine burns less gas. Get regular tuneups and follow through with routine maintenance. The right parts and fresh oil keep your engine happy and less thirsty for gas.

3. Get the junk out of the trunk. A weighed-down car uses more fuel. For every extra 250 pounds your engine hauls, the car loses about one mile per gallon in fuel economy. Carry only the basic emergency equipment and items you really need.
Gas shopping

4. Buy the lowest grade (octane) of gasoline that is appropriate for your car. Check your owner's manual for this information. As long as your engine doesn't knock or ping, the fuel you're using is fine. You can save hundreds of dollars a year.

Driving
5. Drive intelligently; don't make fast starts or sudden stops. You're just overexerting your engine and burning extra fuel. Gradual acceleration also helps automatic transmissions run better. Engine-revving wastes fuel, too.

6. Lighten up on the accelerator. The faster you drive, the more gas you use. Speed limits have gone up around most of the nation, but you don't have to see your fuel consumption go up drastically as well. For example, driving at 55 mph rather than 65 mph can improve your fuel economy by two miles per gallon.

7. Avoid long warm-ups. Even on cold winter mornings, your car doesn't need more than a minute to get ready to go. Anything more and you're just burning up that expensive fuel. Or leave the car on as you run into store to "just get something quickly" [ people do, do this - ask my wife.

8. Combine errands into one trip and plan your stops for the most efficient route. You'll save yourself time and money.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

So you want to conserve gas to save money – fine.
But if you want to be saving money on gas at the pump – think winn-dixie or look for any like kind deal in your area that will help you save money on gas at the pump. Why, because saving money is best enjoyed when you used that money saved – on yourself. Stick it to the oil companies with their billions.. start saving money on gas and give yourself a perk, a gift, something special. I did. I saved $60 dollars on my groceries, saved $15 dollars on gas and then I took my sweetie to the movies that week end.
saving money on gas

Has Facebook killed Blogging? Is facebook next?

Has Facebook killed Blogging

How do I get people to visit my blog? Is it a question of topic, SEO, a sign of the times or something else - I am not sure? But if content is king, then traffic is Queen as many say and it seems atleast to me, that traffic is lacking. The current rave is facebook and twitter, which believe it or not, are basically what you would call micro blogging. Instead of having a 200 plus word blog you have 140 characters to make a statement. Ofcourse facebook has started giving you more in order to make larger messages but still – its small messages that are posted.

The problem with facebook and twitter is – there truly is no interaction. Most facebook wall [ home page ] is filled with the users status or that of their friends. I have notice that very little communicating is actually done on these ports. Most status comments are usually meet with a click of a like button, the occasional “LOL” or no response at all. If you call posting when you went shopping and someone clicking the like button as communication, that is.

When facebook first came out and twitter as well, it was touted as a portal for people to communicate, to share, to inform others of their feelings, where about's and “staying connected”. Ofcourse most people do not do that, as I see it – they speak into the empty void and are satisfied with believing that someone is reading it – even if they never get a response. I have a niece who has resorted to posting strange responses, things like: “It’s not that I hate you, because I hate you”. I believe she does it just to see if she can rile up a response from those FB friends. I also have a FB friend who does nothing but post what she “likes” online: “oh, check this out” and never responds to any of my comments or response anyone sends her.

I have a family member who only responds to tell me that he believes I am spamming him – excuse me, I have a blog because I want people to read what I write, the same as FB people want others to read their post. If I send you an email, a tweet, a FB comment or any kind of invitation to read one of my blog post, it’s not spam; it’s only me trying to get people to read my post, my thoughts, my opinion, my story and would like people to respond to said thoughts.

Which brings me to this thought: Is blogging dead?

Has blogging died? Has it been done in by the likes of face book, twitter, myspace, digg, and other such social sites? Sites where the only thing that passes as a conversation is how many people click some form of like button or voting button?
Even fortune five hundred companies have started shutting down their blogs and opening facebook accounts, twitter accounts and the like. What has happened to change the order of things? People use to tell me that texting was the death of communication for the next generation of kids. Apparently Facebook with its wide popularity is affecting all generations.

Businessegrow.com wrote:
“ For the first time in the five years that this research has been conducted, the use of blogging declined. Blogging had been steadily climbing as a corporate communications tool — 19% of the INC 500 blogged in 2007, 39% in 2008, 45% in 2009, 50% in 2010 and just 37% last year.”

“Facebook and LinkedIn lead the way. For the first time, the platform most utilized by the Inc. 500 is Facebook with 74% of companies using it. Virtually tied at 73% is the adoption of the professional network, LinkedIn. As you can see in the graph above, video and podcasting use declined in this period. The researchers theorized that companies are spending more time on Facebook at the expense of blogs and video. “

http://www.businessesgrow.com/2012/01/29/why-are-americas-fastest-growing-companies-killing-their-blogs/

So is blogging dead, or is it something else?

Personally I believe that blogging is not dead, it’s just too much work for a society that wants everything instantly. People don’t want to read a newspaper or a magazine – they want a sound bite, a snipped, a 2 sentence synapses of the news because they don’t want the facts, just some details.

Like facebook, they don’t want to explain the experience, they are satisfied with just giving you detail: “just saw this movie, it was great”. Who needs to worry about grammar, sentence structure, figuring out how to correctly convey how you felt – if all you have to do is log into facebook that can pin point where you are and you write “Awesome movie”.... And ofcourse, if you get a response it usually is a small comment or the click of the like button, if you get a response at all.
Just like the art of letter writing, blogging has become too time consuming, too much work, an effort, a hassle. I remember how people would say that people prefer emails over letter writing because you can instantly send a note to anyone you wanted and they would respond back to you in a blink of an eye. Considering that now a day’s most people send an email and do not expect an immediate response, rather, they understand that it can be hours even days before some people will respond. Why, becuase even responding to an email is apparently hard work.

So like the art of writing a letter, emails – facebook and social sites of the like, may have conditioned not only business but people in general to believe that bloging is just too much work. Why write a blog? Why read a Blog? Why even bother when all you need is to check your facebook account and see if your friend stayed home or went shopping. Why read the news, when you can get up to the minute accounts of current events that are happening now from regular people like you and I. So why even blog, if people prefer Fb, twitter? If people cannot find the time to respond to a facebook comment, why would they bother to even read much less respond to your blog post?

“ A recently available article published in the New York Times states that that the number of bloggers between the ages of twelve and seventeen has been reducing dramatically. The study takes this statistic and uses it to pose the question of whether or not blogging as a whole is starting to fall out of favor and whether or not its use as an online communication tool has died. Do you feel this is the case? Is blogging, particularly in the online marketing and online sales arena, dying? If it turns out to be real, what does this necessarily mean for internet marketers and the field of sales? We chose to look into this query and find out whether or not it is true and what kind of implication this poses for the internet market arena.

The very first thing that we discovered is that blogging, especially in terms of aiding one’s ability to communicate online is not truly dying. The statistic of people aged 12-17 blogging less often does not necessarily indicate that blogging is going away. What is in fact happening is that people in this age group are just migrating over to Twitter and, especially, Facebook–the service that offers people the ability to create “notes” which can act in much the same fashion as blog entries and allow the user to control who is able to see what they have written down. Adults are far more likely to produce their own web properties than kids particularly because pesky things like parental consent are not an issue.

“http://makemoneywhileyousleep-residualincome.com/internet-marketing/is-blogging-dying/

Is Facebook is next?
So my question is – if facebook kills blogging, then apps will kill facebook? Yes, if you follow the natural pattern of things, facebook will die. Well, die in the sense of how it works with the business model it has created. What facebook has done to blogging, applications will do to facebook.

Why do I make such a bold statement considering that Facebook’s IPO will be the largest IPO in all of history? That the craze behind FB and its hundreds of millions of users will sure find it’s demise in the very “nature” it accustomed it’s user in order to kill blogging. The generation, the culture FB has created is one of, ease, of solitude – you do not need to communicate, you do not need to express – you only share details. And that is what applications will do to rob FB of it’s business module and popularity [ atleast with the websites ability to make money ].

FB relies on traffic and the eyes that traffic brings – when FB talks about “Monetizing” the website, it usually means "advertising". The sad thing is, it will soon be too much trouble to sign into facebook. Too much trouble to log in, when a simple app can bring you all the status comments, image uploads and more straight to your cell phone.

I have such an FB application. I do not get ads, I do not log into my FB home page, or even my personal FB home page. I have an app called “Friend Stream” on my Droid smart phone and I get everything on my phone that is shared by my FB friends. As smart phones and tablets grow in popularity more and more apps will be created and a new easier way of connecting to FB friends will be formed that will eventually kill the need of logging into facebook and being bothered with those pesky ads. Ah, the ease of reading your friends comment and pressing the like button will be easier than ever before. And is not that "ease of use" that killed blogging. Many said that laptops threaten the desks top computer, that tablets threaten laptop sales and smart phones in cooperation with apps may kill Facebook.

The very same thing that is presumed to have killed blogging in favor of Facebook, will also kill FB itself. If you train people to seek the “ease of use” of your product, that mentally, that same desire will be used in driving your traffic away from your business, in this case facebook. Why did Google become so popular? It is said that Google not only had good search results, but they made it easy for people. How is Google trying to compete with Microsoft’s web browser – by making a simpler easier to use browser- Chrome. Fabebook is trying to offer search capabilities to its user’s in order to broaden it’s hold on user’s – but FB is based on the ability of its users to tell friends what they are doing, how they feel, and to vent frustration – even when they expect no response to their action.

So if more and more users become smart phone and tablet users – it will become easier for users and often times it is the only way to connect to Fb, to use apps that bypass the need to go to Facebooks website at all. If you can send and receive your FB comments or tweets without ever visiting the website, the site loses its most important commodity of all – Web Traffic.

Cloud computing saved my life, ok - my memories

Cloud Computing saved my life, Ok, my memories.
Cloud computing is the delivery of computing as a service rather than a product, whereby shared resources, software, and information are provided to computers and other devices as a metered service over a network (typically the Internet).

In one of my early post, so way back I did not dare even search for it to link to it, I told the story of how my brother-in-law lost 8,000 pictures [ memories of his children growing up, wedding, childbirth - you name it ], it was all gone. Why, becuase everything went digital.

cloud computing saved this pictureToday we hear that Kodac is filing for bankruptcy and getting out of the camera business - why? Becuase people all decided to go digital. Who really saves regular photos any more, even I one of the last to hold out have gone digital. I have several boxes of pictures than span several years, but a few years back I bought a digital camera and some where down the road - I started storing my pictures on my cumputer. Like I said, my brother-in-law lost 8,000 memories becuase he had the misfortune of having his computer crash and having no back-up of all his files.
Luckily, I always made cd copies of all my files, then came thumbdrives, and then I started cloud computing before cloud computing ever started. Let me explain. I tried paying for a service that would store my files for me, but I figure why pay when it can be for free.

cloud computing saved this memorySo, what i did was simple, I used Myspace, Blogger and Picasso as my free cloud computing storage facilities. Yes, I took a risk - but it paid off. My desk top finally dies and I realize that there were several pictures and videos I forgot [ to lazy ] to back up. I thought all was lost. They today as I was checking the news I heard how Myspace had reported that it was making a come back and had several hundred thousand new members, giving Facebook a possible challenge [ doubt it but since FB was doing it's IPO the news likes to bring these things up ]. But myspace is not important, what is important is my stored pictures, my cloud computing system I had mistakenly created.

So after several hours of trying to figure out what was my Id and password - bang, I was in. I found several pictures I had thought lost for ever. Pictures that still bring a smile to my face - all becuase of cloud computing or should I say - cheap cloud computing. I couldn't save the music, but the pictures I was glad to find online. So with this small success I started visiting several of my old website huants to find that I had stored many priceless pics on the cloud.

What is Cloud Computing
Cloud computing provides computation, software, data access, and storage resources without requiring cloud users to know the location and other details of the computing infrastructure.

funny egg joke imageEnd users access cloud based applications through a web browser or a light weight desktop or mobile app while the business software and data are stored on servers at a remote location. Cloud application providers strive to give the same or better service and performance as if the software programs were installed locally on end-user computers.

At the foundation of cloud computing is the broader concept of infrastructure convergence (or Converged Infrastructure) and shared services. This type of data centre environment allows enterprises to get their applications up and running faster, with easier manageability and less maintenance, and enables IT to more rapidly adjust IT resources (such as servers, storage, and networking) to meet fluctuating and unpredictable business demand.

Several funny jokes, cartoons and images

Several funny cartoons and jokes I have come across online. You'd be surprised what you will find online when you have hours of nothing to do... at work, no never?

coffee addiction
jokes funny
silly jokes cartoon
funny joke yuthink funny cartoons funny jokes silly cartoon

Schools teacher has wrong choice of word - joke

schools teacher
Schools teacher have it hard now a days. Bad timing and bad choice of words, or is it a play on words that went wrong in a class room experiment.

A teacher explains why it can be funny or embarassing on the choice of word you use in today's class room. Children are not the same, from the children teachers tuaght 5, 10 and especially 20 years ago.

The embarassing schools teacher moment:
The class was doing an experiment where the students had to create elements using all sorts of materials that you mushed together onto clay. One particular student had trouble getting his particles to form and create this "element" - so the teacher walks up to him and innocently explians:

" Micheal, it's not working becuase your balls are to small."

The class full of fifth graders broke out into a histerical group laugh. It took her [ the schools teacher ] a few seconds to realize where the childrens mind had automatically focused on - Balls, small balls to be percise.

schools teacher jokesOfcourse the teacher was refering to the size of the clay mound in a circular sphere that needed to be created to mash all the other materials to create this element [ clay model of element ].

It's funny, you never know what can happen in a class room - but you certainly don't expect to have to worry about every word you use for fear of being mis-interpreted. Being a schools teacher in todays world is an adventure college does not prepare you for.

How to solve any problem - funny

How to "Solve any Problem"


This is awsome, I plan to use this "Problem solving solution" every day of my life. After all, some days it doesn't matter how hard I try to get things right [ You know ] ... "You didn't buy the right kind" ... "Sorry honey...." Murmur, murmur under my breath.
Or... "Hey Honey what did you do to my ..."

I admit it I make mistakes - so this will really help me out.

funny problem solution yuthink

How do you solve your problems?
How do you cover up a "Mistake"?
How do you deal with a situation that will cuase you grief?
What problem solving skills do you have?

And does it matter? Becuase with my significant other - it doesn't matter what excuse I use - I am always in the wrong... I don't feel the love.

The funny thing is I wish my children would learn any kind of problem solving skills - like most kids, thier idea of solving a problems starts with... tears, hysteria, and screams...

Sweet and Spicy Smoked Ribs - recipe

Now with a dish like this - I could start an online cooking class... not. I am not a chef, I really only get by when it comes to cooking - but this can make a lip-smacking week-end.

Not an online cooking clas Lol..


Let's start the grill people..

Mike and Tammy's Sweet and Spicy Smoked Ribs
From Delish
Because these ribs are smoked for five hours, they're perfect for afternoon kickoffs. Tailgating pros Mike and Tammy Herchel of GatorTailgating.com recommend marinating the meat overnight and getting the grill going first thing in the morning. Recipe courtesy of Tammy Herchel.

online cooking class <-- who really cares about how many calories this has per serving.. it is delicious.
Recipe Ingredients

• 6 tablespoon(s) brown sugar
• 6 tablespoon(s) smoky paprika
• 3 tablespoon(s) ground black pepper
• 3 tablespoon(s) garlic powder
• 1 dash(es) salt
• 3 rack(s) pork spareribs
• 9 tablespoon(s) good-quality honey mustard (like Boar's Head)
• Your fave BBQ sauce


Recipe Directions
The night before: Combine the brown sugar, paprika, pepper, garlic powder, and salt in a small bowl. That's your yummy-yummy dry rub!

Lay one slab of ribs on a piece of heavy-duty tinfoil large enough to wrap around the entire slab tightly. Brush both sides with honey mustard, then sprinkle both sides heavily with the dry rub. Repeat with remaining ribs, wrapping each slab tightly and separately in tin foil; you don't want ice leaking into them in the cooler! Place the prepared ribs in the fridge, or, if you don't have enough room (as we never do, prepping for a crowd) into a large cooler with ice or ice packs.

online cooking classThe morning of: Determine what time you want to eat, and count back 5 hours. This is the time you need to have the grill up to temperature and ready to go.

Half an hour before it's time to start the ribs, start your charcoal and heat grill to 250 to 275 degrees. (No hotter or you'll burn the ribs and/or they'll dry out!) Place ribs on the rack and close the lid. Check on ribs every half hour to ensure they're heating evenly, flip them, etc. During the last half-hour, just when everyone is salivating at your side, transfixed by the smell of smoky sweetness, brush both sides of the ribs with your favorite sauce. Then platter them up, and stand back — you're about to be attacked as tailgaters rush to get their serving!


Extra Bonus recipe:
Secret-Recipe BBQ Sauce

Ingredients
• 1 tablespoon(s) olive oil
• 1 (12 ounces) jumbo onion, chopped
• 2 tablespoon(s) peeled and chopped fresh ginger
• 3 tablespoon(s) chili powder
• 3 clove(s) garlic, crushed with press
• 1 can(s) (8 ounces) crushed pineapple in juice
• 1 can(s) (28 ounces) crushed tomatoes in puree
• 1/3 cup(s) ketchup
• 1/4 cup(s) cider vinegar
• 3 tablespoon(s) dark brown sugar
• 3 tablespoon(s) mild molasses
• 2 teaspoon(s) dry mustard
• 1 teaspoon(s) salt

Recipe Directions
In 5- to 6-quart saucepot, heat olive oil over medium heat until hot. (Do not use a smaller pan; sauce bubbles up and splatters during cooking — the deeper the pan, the better.) Add onion and ginger and cook 10 minutes or until onion is tender and golden. Add chili powder and cook 1 minute, stirring. Add garlic and crushed pineapple with its juice, and cook 1 minute longer.

Remove saucepot from heat. Stir in tomatoes with their puree and remaining ingredients.

Spoon 1/4 of sauce into blender. At low speed, blend sauce until smooth. Pour sauce into bowl; repeat with remaining sauce. Return sauce to saucepot; heat to boiling over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low and cook, partially covered, 25 minutes or until reduced to about 4 3/4 cups, stirring occasionally.

Cover and refrigerate sauce if not using right away. Sauce will keep up to 1 week in refrigerator or up to 2 months in freezer.

Ribs Supreme recipe and a secret BBQ suace

I am not here to teach how to cook, this is not an online cooking class, I am not a chef. I just love to eat, and becuase my doctor says I have high cholestorol and have to go on this "blah" food diet - I decided that I am going to treat myself to some FUN FOOD as a reward for keeping this God awful diet.

Not a online cooking class


I figured I should learn how to make this one, simply becuase it was one of my favorite things to eat when i went to a restuarant. Now that I eat healthy - It should be one of my treats that I can make at home [ on the week end ] as I spend some time with the family.

Ribs Supreme
From Good Housekeeping
triple-tested at the Good Housekeeping Research Institute
Only 15 minutes of grilling time! The trick: Steam the ribs for an hour in the oven up to 2 days before barbecuing.

online cooking class
Recipe Ingredients

• 4 teaspoon(s) peeled, grated fresh ginger
• 2 teaspoon(s) freshly grated lemon peel
• 3/4 teaspoon(s) salt
• 2 clove(s) garlic, crushed with garlic press
• 4 rack(s) (1 pound each) pork baby back ribs
• 2 cup(s) Secret-Recipe BBQ Sauce [ see below ]

RecipeDirections

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In cup, mix ginger, lemon peel, salt, and garlic until combined. Rub ginger mixture all over ribs.
Place ribs in large roasting pan (15 1/2- by 11 1/2-inch), overlapping slightly. Pour 2 cups boiling water into roasting pan. Cover pan tightly with foil. Steam ribs 1 hour.

online cooking classCarefully remove foil from roasting pan (escaping steam is very hot). Remove ribs from roasting pan, discard water. Ribs may be grilled immediately, or refrigerated up to 2 days before grilling.

Place ribs, meat side up, on grill over medium heat, cook 5 minutes, turning once. Turn ribs over, brush with some BBQ sauce and grill 5 minutes. Turn ribs over again, brush with more BBQ sauce, and grill 5 minutes longer. Cut racks into 2-rib portions, serve with remaining sauce.


Secret-Recipe BBQ Sauce

Recipe Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon(s) olive oil
• 1 (12 ounces) jumbo onion, chopped
• 2 tablespoon(s) peeled and chopped fresh ginger
• 3 tablespoon(s) chili powder
• 3 clove(s) garlic, crushed with press
• 1 can(s) (8 ounces) crushed pineapple in juice
• 1 can(s) (28 ounces) crushed tomatoes in puree
• 1/3 cup(s) ketchup
• 1/4 cup(s) cider vinegar
• 3 tablespoon(s) dark brown sugar
• 3 tablespoon(s) mild molasses
• 2 teaspoon(s) dry mustard
• 1 teaspoon(s) salt

Recipe Directions

In 5- to 6-quart saucepot, heat olive oil over medium heat until hot. (Do not use a smaller pan; sauce bubbles up and splatters during cooking — the deeper the pan, the better.) Add onion and ginger and cook 10 minutes or until onion is tender and golden. Add chili powder and cook 1 minute, stirring. Add garlic and crushed pineapple with its juice, and cook 1 minute longer.

Remove saucepot from heat. Stir in tomatoes with their puree and remaining ingredients.

Spoon 1/4 of sauce into blender. At low speed, blend sauce until smooth. Pour sauce into bowl; repeat with remaining sauce. Return sauce to saucepot; heat to boiling over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low and cook, partially covered, 25 minutes or until reduced to about 4 3/4 cups, stirring occasionally.

Cover and refrigerate sauce if not using right away. Sauce will keep up to 1 week in refrigerator or up to 2 months in freezer.

Wow, this is lip-smacking wonderful delight.
Now go out there start your own online cooking class, cooking show, become a great chef! Well, you can atleast wow you're neighbors.

Barbecued Pork Ribs : recipe

Friendly reminder: I am not here to teach how to cook, this is not an online cooking class, I am not a chef. I just love to eat, and becuase my doctor says I have high cholestorol and have to go on this "blah" food diet - I decided that I am going to treat myself to some FUN FOOD as a reward for keeping this God awful diet.

Not a online cooking class


I figured I should learn how to make this one, simply becuase it was one of my favorite things to eat when i went to a restuarant. Now that I eat healthy - It should be one of my treats that I can make at home [ on the week end ] as I spend some time with the family.

Barbecued Pork Ribs
From Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia
online cooking class
These pork ribs are rubbed with a blend of earthy spices and brushed with a slowly simmered sauce that has a slight kick. They come off the grill tender yet pleasingly chewy, with just the right hit of smoky goodness.


Recipe Ingredients
• 2 rack(s) (2 to 21/2 pounds each) Saint Louis-style pork ribs
• Vegetable oil, for grill rack
• 2 tablespoon(s) packed light-brown sugar (for the rub)
• 2 tablespoon(s) coarse salt (for the rub)
• 2 teaspoon(s) freshly ground pepper (for the rub)
• 2 teaspoon(s) hot paprika
• 2 teaspoon(s) mustard powder
• 1 teaspoon(s) celery seed
• 2 tablespoon(s) vegetable oil (for the sauce)
• 1 small yellow onion, finely chopped (1 cup)
• 3 clove(s) garlic, minced
• 1/4 teaspoon(s) red-pepper flakes
• 1/4 cup(s) tomato paste
• 1/4 cup(s) bourbon
• 1 cup(s) strained tomatoes
• 1/2 cup(s) cider vinegar
• 1/4 cup(s) Worcestershire sauce
• 1 cup(s) water
• 1/4 cup(s) plus 2 tablespoons light-brown sugar (for the sauce)
• Coarse salt and freshly ground pepper (for the sauce)

online cooking classRecipe Directions
Prepare the ribs: Place 1 rib rack, meat side down, on a work surface. With a knife, cut a small slit through the silvery membrane at 1 end of the rack. Using a paper towel, grip the cut portion of the membrane, gently peel it from the rack, and discard. Repeat with remaining rack.

Make the rub: Combine sugar, salt, pepper, paprika, mustard powder, and celery seed in a bowl. (If mixture is clumpy, pass through a medium sieve.) Rub mixture on both sides of each rack. Place ribs on a rimmed baking sheet, cover, and refrigerate for at least 2 hours (or overnight). Let stand at room temperature for 30 minutes before cooking.

Make the sauce: Heat oil in a medium saucepan over medium heat. Add onion and garlic, and cook until onion is tender, 2 to 3 minutes. Add red-pepper flakes and tomato paste, and cook for 1 minute. Stir in bourbon, scraping the pan. Stir in tomatoes, vinegar, Worcestershire sauce, water, and sugar, and cook, continuing to stir, until sugar dissolves.

Simmer the sauce: Bring the sauce to a boil. Reduce heat, and simmer until reduced by 1/3, about 30 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Let cool slightly. Puree in a blender until smooth. (You should have about 2 cups.) Use immediately, or let cool completely, cover, and refrigerate for up to 2 weeks.

Set up the grill: Place a 9-by-13-inch disposable aluminum pan in the center of bottom grill rack. If using a charcoal grill, place a chimney starter on top grill rack, and fill with about 60 charcoal briquettes (about 4 pounds). Stuff newspaper under chimney, and ignite. Heat briquettes until just covered in ash. Wearing oven mitts, carefully lift chimney, remove top rack, and pour coals onto bottom rack along both sides of pan. Top coals with 1 to 2 chunks hardwood or 1 cup wood chips that have been soaked in water for 1 hour and drained. Fill pan halfway with hot water. Replace top rack. If using a gas grill, heat to medium-low.

Grill the ribs: Let ribs stand at room temperature for 30 minutes before cooking. Fold a paper towel into a thick rectangle, and dip it in oil. Hold towel with tongs, and brush oil on top grill rack. Place both rib racks, bone side down, on top grill rack, directly over pan. Cover, keeping top grill vents halfway open and bottom vents completely open to maintain grill temperature of 275 degrees to 325 degrees. Cook ribs, without turning, until the meat is tender but not falling off bones, and has shrunk 1/2 inch from ends, 3 to 3 1/2 hours, adding 8 briquettes to each charcoal pile every hour.

Baste the ribs: Transfer 1 cup sauce to a small serving bowl. Brush both sides of ribs with remaining 1 cup sauce. Cover, and grill until ribs are glistening and deep mahogany, about 15 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes. Serve with reserved sauce.

Some one call a doctor becuase this may kill me, wow - sounds so good. Again thank you for stopping by, hope you enjoy the recipe and maybe you - being a better cook than me, hope you start your own online cooking class or show.

More wonderful recipes below.

Beacon BLT Burgers Recipe

Friendly reminder: I am not here to teach how to cook, this is not an online cooking class, I am not a chef. I just love to eat, and becuase my doctor says I have high cholestorol and have to go on this "blah" food diet - I decided that I am going to treat myself to some FUN FOOD as a reward for keeping this God awful diet.

Not a online cooking class


I figured I should learn how to make this one, simply becuase it was one of my favorite things to eat when i went to a restuarant. Now that I eat healthy - It should be one of my treats that I can make at home [ on the week end ] as I spend some time with the family.

Beacon BLT Burgers
not online cooking class
From Delish
Amp up simple burgers with bacon and a ketchup-mayonnaise-mustard sauce. The bacon, wrapped around the burger, cooks with it while on the grill, so there's little prep.

not online cooking class

Recipe Ingredients

• 1/4 cup(s) ketchup
• 1/4 cup(s) light mayonnaise
• 1 tablespoon(s) yellow mustard
• 1 1/4 pound(s) lean ground beef
• 1/2 teaspoon(s) salt
• 1/4 teaspoon(s) pepper
• 8 slice(s) bacon
• 4 sesame hamburgers buns, split
• Lettuce, tomato and/or onion, for garnish


Recipe Directions

Preheat grill to medium-high (or preheat your broiler)

Stir ketchup, mayonnaise and mustard in a bowl until blended; set aside.

Shape beef into 4 patties, each 3⁄4-inch thick. Sprinkle with salt and pepper. Wrap each burger with 2 strips of bacon, crossing each other at right angles.

Place patties on the hot grill rack (or broiler pan) and cook about 10 to 12 minutes, or until they reach your desired doneness, turning once. Place the buns on the grill to toast during last 2 minutes of cooking.

Serve burgers on buns with lettuce, tomato, onion and ketchup sauce . Make some frozen fries for a side dish.

Wow, you have to admit - Beacon makes anything taste three times better.
Ok, I know, but your low cholesterol diet [ forget that..] I mean, it's a reward not an everyday meal. Come on, can't live on this diet and expect me to live.. Sometimes you have to enjoy life. So I am going to try this one out - if I do well, maybe I'll update you on how it went.

Reminder: this is not a how to cook, online cooking class, for God sake i am not a chef - I just love to eat and want to share some wonderful recipes I found online with the 3 people who visite my blog... LOL

Meatballs coated in marinara sauce recipe : online cooking class , not

Meatballs coated in marinara sauce / not an online cooking class


I am not a Chef, this is not a online cooking class, I just want to remind you: that I love to eat. So as I obey my Doctors orders to watch my weight and lower my cholestorol - I do my diet, suffer the whole week long and give myself a reward for fighting off the urge to whoof down a big-mac..
It gives me a reason to be a "Week end food warrior"... Raor!

I believe I may have written about this recipe on an earlier post but I thought I should share the full recipe here today.

Meatball Parmigiana Sliders
From Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia

not a online cooking classMeatballs coated in marinara sauce, smothered with cheese, and sandwiched in brioche rolls are a party-perfect nibble. For tender meatballs, combine the ingredients gently and don't pack the meat too tightly.

Cooking Ingredients
• 2 slice(s) white or sandwich bread, torn into 1-inch pieces
• 1/2 cup(s) whole milk
• 8 ounce(s) ground beef (85 percent lean)
• 8 ounce(s) ground pork
• 4 ounce(s) ground veal
• 1 cup(s) (1 ounce) finely grated pecorino Romano or Parmesan cheese , divided
• 3 tablespoon(s) coarsely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley
• 1 clove(s) garlic, minced
• 1 large egg
• Coarse salt
• marinara sauce
• 24 brioche rolls, split
• 1 1/2 cup(s) (5 ounces) coarsely grated mozzarella cheese
• 1/2 cup(s) (1 ounce) finely grated pecorino Romano or Parmesan cheese, for sliders
• Small basil leaves

not a online cooking classCooking Directions

Make the meatballs: Soak bread in milk for 5 minutes. Gently mix bread and milk with meats , 1/2 cup Pecorino Romano, parsley, garlic, egg, and 1 teaspoon salt. Refrigerate for at least 30 minutes.

Roll mixture into 24 one-ounce balls (each about the size of a golf ball).
Heat sauce in a large heavy pot over medium heat. Drop meatballs into sauce, and bring to a gentle simmer. Cook, partially covered, until meatballs are cooked through, 20 to 25 minutes.

Make the sandwiches: Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Working in batches, arrange rolls, cut side up, on a baking sheet. Place 1 meatball, a spoonful of sauce, 1 tablespoon mozzarella, and 1 teaspoon pecorino Romano on bottom halves. Bake until cheese melts, about 3 minutes. Top with basil and close sandwich.


A reminder: I am not a chef, this is not a online cooking class, I am just an individual who loves to eat and has cuaght the cooking bug and though my doctor says " lower my cholesterol" I can't cut every good food out. So I keep my diet by rewarding myself with something UHhmmm UHhmm good. Don't tell my doctor.

** List of recipe here

Great Crunchy Onion Rings : online cooking school, not

This is Not a online cooking school

- I just love to eat.

Ok, for any of you who does not know me, I am not a cook, chef and this is not a online cooking class - I just happen to love to eat. Considering that I have high cholesterol[ according to my doctor ], so I watch what I eat - but with that said, I love to give myself a trest. So I pick this little sweet treat, that I loved to have at my local restuarant, to have as a treat at home.

If you love a good batch of crunchy onion rings, use this recipe.


Onion Rings
From EatingWell.com

online cooking class notWe couldn't get enough of these crunchy onion rings. Try any seasoning blend that you have on hand to add flavor to the breading or substitute 1 teaspoon salt instead. Seasoned whole-wheat breadcrumbs are available in some supermarkets and natural-foods stores. If you can find them, try them in place of the plain breadcrumbs and seasoning blend.

Cooking Ingredients
• 2 medium yellow onions
• 3/4 cup(s) 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoon(s) baking powder
• 3 large eggs
• 1 1/2 cup(s) fine dry breadcrumbs, preferably whole-wheat (see Tips & Techniques)
• 1 tablespoon(s) seasoning blend, such as Cajun, jerk, or Old Bay
• Olive oil or canola oil cooking spray

online cooking ringsCooking Directions
Position racks in upper and lower thirds of oven; preheat to 450°F. Coat 2 large rimmed baking sheets with cooking spray.
Cut off both ends of each onion and peel. Slice into 1/2-inch-thick slices; separate into rings. (Discard the smallest rings or reserve for another use.) Place the rings in a medium bowl; cover with cold water.

Combine flour and baking powder in a shallow dish. Lightly beat eggs in another shallow dish. Combine breadcrumbs and seasoning in a third shallow dish. Working with one ring at time, remove from the water, letting any excess drip off. Coat in flour, shaking off any excess. Dip in egg and let any excess drip off. Then coat in the breadcrumb mixture, shaking off any excess. Place on the prepared baking sheets. Generously coat the onion rings with cooking spray.
Bake for 10 minutes. Turn each onion ring over and return to the oven, switching the positions of the baking sheets. Continue baking until brown and very crispy, 8 to 10 minutes more.

Carb Servings: 2 starch, 1 fat. Carbohydrate Servings: 2

Cooking Tips & Techniques
Ingredient note: We like Ian's brand of coarse dry whole-wheat breadcrumbs, labeled "Panko breadcrumbs." Find them in the natural-foods section of large supermarkets. To make your own breadcrumbs, trim crusts from firm sandwich bread. Tear the bread into pieces and process in a food processor until coarse crumbs form. (To make fine dry breadcrumbs, process until very fine.) Spread on a baking sheet and bake at 250°F until dry, about 10 to 15 minutes. One slice of bread makes about 1/3 cup dry breadcrumbs.

Again, this is not a online cooking class, I am not a chef, I try to cook - it doesn't always come out great but I think I love the experience as much as I love eating the food I cook.

** List of recipes go here
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