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Coffee saves memory loss - drink cat poop coffee

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Oh yea, I knew drinking coffe would pay off one day. So sar studies show that coffee can help prevent hair loss and that it can help fight off memory loss in women. I like my aging odds now. I drink about 5 cups a day or more, so I will be a sharp and active old person - with a hairy back???? With all this good news about coffee - I still wont pay $55 dollars for coffe made from cat poop. I don't care what the benefits are - yuck.....