If we want to fix marriage and the decline of marriage, we might want to start by fixing the economy. Now that sounds like an interesting article and topic.
For Richer or Poorer
By Rana Foroohar
Social issues, particularly the economics of marriage and childbirth, have been major themes in the Republican primary races. As Charles Murray's much-talked-about book Coming Apart points out, marriage is becoming a luxury good: Well-educated rich people get married and stay married. Most of the rest of the population doesn't. This, along with a spate of studies about the growing number of low-income, single-parent families, has spurred a debate about whether government should push marriage as a poverty-elimination tool. But is it really that simple? To quote Beyonc, would poverty go away if we "put a ring on it"?
Statistically it's true...
In the TIME magazine March 12, 2012 issue
Excuse me if I start by saying - it's left wing tripe. The article was interesting at first until they started backing away from the obvious truths that they desperately tried avoid. The article starts off with this title "For Richer or Poorer. If we want to fix marriage, we might start by fixing the economy" . I thought it sounded interesting and I wanted to see what their point would be. After all, marriage is more than money and is a very complex issue to deal with and the statement seems to sum up the solution as being: jobs?
They make mention that statistically people who have finished high school and are married are less likely to be poor. Then they bring the issue of unmarried people and children born out of wedlock - marriage declining: that the percentage of children being born out of wedlock is 41% overall and 53% for women under 30.
Quote: "it's not unusual for a single or cohabiting parent to have three partners over the course of five years and multiple children with different partners. Forget about the moral judgment; the issue is that this rotating cast of characters can create complexity and volatility in the lives of these families."
Excuse me, how can you forget about "Morals"? Morals, as not to sound religious - let’s say a standard, is what tells people that they should get an education before they marry, get jobs and save before they have kids, and live by the old adage "until death do ye part". Morals, is what defines a man and why he will not abandon his children. Morals, is what tells a mother - let me think of my children first because they need me and I brought them into this world. Morals, is what a man and a woman have, need in order to wake up every day as they struggle, scrape and fight to keep their family together moving forward. Morals, like the one that says "love your fellow man', how about loving your spouse enough not to cheat on them? Loving your children enough not to abandon them? Morals, a standard that goes against what we have today: It's all about me or the highway.
The article mentions that poverty is another cause why marriage is in decline today. That people who struggle day in and day out and are constantly on the edge are more likely to fall over that edge. It makes me wonder, this will strike you as offensive, but poverty and hardship use to keep people together, after all, there is strength in unity.
Poverty can cause stress, it can bring a family close to the edge of destruction - but it is not the reason why families fail, why husbands leave, why wives crumble. Look back in history and you will find people that lived thru extreme poverty, here comes the offensive part, there have been slaves who struggled more than you and I will ever struggle but they survived together. Families that were torn apart by slavery and found their way back together. Families like say, the pilgrims who found themselves in a foreign country, fighting against hunger, death and so much more. Black, red, or green - history shows us of not only individuals but entire families and nations that faced insurmountable odds placed against them and "they stood together".
Israel is a people that faced genocide, loss of country and loss of national identity. Look at them now, a nation once again. Why do I bring them up? What does a nation have to do with marriage? Because they had a belief, a code, a standard, that kept them together. That gave them strength to carry on when everything and everyone said give up. A marriage only works if you have morals, a code, standards - I will not cheat, I will not abandon my children, I will not let my family go hungry. I will work the lowliest job there is, if it feeds my kids. I will love, respect, honor my spouse even if the neighbor talks nice to me.
Do you want to know what the articles solution to fixing marriage was?
The solution was:
"What does help create stable families? Birth control - because three quarters of births outside marriage are unintended, according to sociologist Jennifer Manlove of child trends,..."
The solution to fixing declining marriage in our nation is: Birth control?
So we forget about morals, about a code, about holding up a standard of right and wrong and we hand out condoms? That is how you get people to stay married, honor marriage, stay and care for their kids - by offering safe sex? Contraception may reduce childbirths but it won’t fix divorce rates or build stronger unions. I saw a documentary on TV in 2011 how Japan was struggling with the decline of their population. Children were not being born, they spoke about how play grounds were empty in most of Japan - but they never said this helped keep marriages together?
The reason my father abandon his family was because he was a coward. It was not poverty that drove him away and it was not my mother. You ask how I know. Because when he left us he went and took care of another man’s children, that is right, he left us and went and cared for another family. How do I know it wasn't because of my mother, because many years later when I was older he wanted to leave the woman he was with to return to my Mother? It wasn't poverty, struggle, it was cowardice, lack of morals. It is always easier to do the wrong thing, than to struggle doing what is right. That is why we cannot forget about morals, why we need to have a sense of right and wrong - in order to live better we need a standard of conduct.
The article goes on to end with this statement:
"There simply aren't as many steadily employed, marriageable men as there used to be, so women - particularly poorer ones - end up going it alone."
Remember the good old days; you know the days when there were a lot of good hard working marriageable men around???? Could it be, that the lack of morals, the lack of the sense of right and wrong that has diminished in our nation is what caused an increase in this "lack" of good men. Oh, and lets not forget good women as well. The article is written by a women so I understand why she throws the blame on men - but, if a women let’s say, got an education, poor or rich, she found work so she can be independent and say, refused to have sex before marriage..... What are the odds she would become an unwed mother?
I know, I over simplified the facts, but believe it or not - more women, according to the article are having children out of wed-lock before they are even 30.
Morals, a standard, a code, something that says - this is right and this is wrong. No, I am not saying life is as simple as right and wrong, but it is does make it a lot easier. My mother never re-married, she made her life all about her kids. She had many opportunities to escape the harsh reality that was her life and say "forget my children, I deserve a life", but she didn't. Isn't that the model of most mother’s day card messages - how mom has done [sacrificed] so much. Isn't that the model message of most father day cards - how dad has been there for me through thick and thin.
I wake up every day and I tell my kids what not to do and what they should do. I tell them to go to school and learn, stay out of trouble, eat right, exercise, study, learn how to work smart and if need be, how to work hard. Never be ashamed of doing what is right. Why, because I love them and I want a better life for them. I hope and pray they avoid my mistakes, become better than I could ever be, surround themselves with good people and marry someone who knows what is right and what is wrong. Why? Because life is difficult and their morals, their standard, their code is what will help them be better people. My mother, like all mothers had this saying: tell me who you walk with and I will tell you who you are. I guess in this day and age according to the article, the saying probably goes like this: ignore right from wrong, just carry a condom.