What is my Motivation?
I know, it’s usually used as a punch line for an actor who wants to “become the character” in a movie. But you have to consider this: in everything we do – there is an underlined “motivating” factor behind it all. Why did I chase after my wife when we were dating – because she was a beautiful girl (did I win some brownie points honey?)
All kidding aside; we do things, we strive for things, to accomplish things, because we are motivated to do so. What does it mean to be motivated?
Definition of motivation: in the simplest way possible – The reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.
Here is a perfect example of what I am trying to say.
Every year I participate in the elementary 5th grade chess club. Every year on the first meeting of the year I ask the group a question: What can chess do for you?
What I get is a bunch of I don’t really know answers – but this year one student spoke up and said “My uncle is a chess champion and he made a lot of money playing chess as a professional.”
The rest of the group became very motivated in learning chess after that one statement.
My point: we all need motivation – a reason why we do what we do. We need a goal, a desired outcome that we want to attain. Without this “motivation”, there is no reason to learn, no reason to work hard, no reason to live – it becomes easy to give up.
The reason why people fail – in marriage, at work, education, in life in general is because they lose their motivation. When there is no goal, no desired outcome – no reason to struggle or fight; we lose interest, we lose hope and we give up.
When it comes to my children and their education: I look for what motivates them. What do they like? What gives them purpose or drive? What do they like: I use that to motivate them to learn. I ask them about their dreams, I tell them about how others have struggled and succeeded in life in order to “motivate” them.
This also works for adults. Things don’t change because you got older – the principals are still the same. Life is not easy; no one really likes to work – even if you are a workaholic. I have heard people say that they love to work – but when you listen to them speak about why they work, it all boils down to not being perceived as what they consider as being lazy.
Why is your marriage struggling?
Why is your family relationship struggling?
Why are your studies, education struggling?
I could go on, but the truth is this – someone lost their motivation to work at it. Life is hard, things – bad things will happen. But our motivation is what drives us to continue forward. Once you lose that, there is no reason to study, no reason to strive, and no reason to stay committed. With that said, I know it takes two, in a relationship, it takes two to tango: but what I am trying to point out is that if you lose your motivation that drives you (my love for my wife motivates me to do more, forgive even when I don’t want to and that same love she has for me motivates her to continue to put up with all my failings) without that drive that comes from the motivation to achieved a desired goal, an outcome.... then what is the point of it all.
Find the motivation, the reason you need to make life better for yourself and those around you.