What you think does matter

Funny How You Keep Me in a Constant Flux of Confusion We are sitting in the kitchen, my wife, son, his friend Pate and I. We’re eating the wonderful meal the wife has prepared for us when suddenly my wife begins to explain how she cannot simply stand the smell of ketchup - that is why she can't it ketchup. She then says, that she eats ketchup with her white rice but the rice has to be hot or very warm in order for her to be able to eat the ketchup. Of course my son who does not clearly understand the delicate intricacies of his mother’s way of thinking quickly pointed out: Mom, if you hate the way ketchup smells how can you eat it in your rice? She then quickly tries to explain that it is not the same thing, that she can eat it because it is on the hot or warm white rice. My son being his mother’s son, rebutted: But Mom, the smell didn’t change, it still smells the same way, nothing changed. If you can’t eat it because you hate the smell – then why are you eating it? ...

Ok, I couldn't help but reminisce a couple of days back as I shared a story with some family on our Christmas break. And as I remembered all the laughs [ at my wifes expense ] I thought to myself: " Have I ever shared this online on my blog"? The more I thought about the silly incident, the more I wanted to share the experience with you. Ofcourse, being me I couldn't help but draw up a comic - after all, sometimes a good joke needs visual effects to make it pop. So I've drawn up a comic strip of the incident [ see below ] and I will explain the details below. After all, timing is everything right? So, did you get it, did you laugh? Believe it or not it was based on a true story. We were on a family vacation in NY City, visiting family and as always missing the city since we now live in the south.... [ Florida ] So my wife, my brother-in-law and I decide to take a walk around the old neighborhood. Now granted we missed the city, but we live in a bad nei...

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his pretty blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and again slammed it shut. Angrily, back into the house she went.... As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever.... Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, ‘YOU’VE GOT MAIL’.”

Caller : Hi, our printer is not working. Customer Service: What is wrong with it? Caller : Mouse is jammed. Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don't have a mouse you idiot! Caller: Mmmmm??.. Oh really?... I will send a picture. Scroll down.

Ok, this happened for real - this is a true story. So all you blondes, please - don't be offended. It's a joke but also a true story. So here we go: I was working in the store and a sweet blonde older woman walked in. She was excitedly flustered and greeted me with a desperate plea - “can you help me? I don't know what's wrong with my cell phone. it's not working at all.” As I took the phone from her hand to inspect it - she embarrassedly explained how she did everything she could do to make it work... she put it to charge, she checked the battery, she made sure the phone wasn't damaged.... but it did not want to work. After a minute of playing with it I put it in her hand and said - there you go it's working. She gasp with elation and asked me how did I fix her phone: I quietly told her - I turned it on.... Don’t want to believe me - fine.. But it happened, it is a true story. I felt so bad for her, I didn’t want her to be embarrassed or feel stupid. But he...