Parenting: the guilt of having two children ?

Parenting: The Guilt of having two children

Every now an then I am reminded by my two children - how I love or favor the
other sibling. Like if I could ever love one over the other.

My Daughter say: "you give him everything"
My 5 yr old son says: "Kiki gets to do everything"

Ofcourse they can't seem to understand that it's not favoritism - it's just
that their at different ages and stages in their lives. So where Kiki the older
child gets privileges my five yr old son doesn't - my 5 yr old gets more
attention because he needs more guidance, protection - unlike his older sister
I expect more from.

But I do feel guilt sometimes.

I always wanted three kids - it was just my thing. Ofcourse when I finally had children and found out how much responsibility and work was involved - I was happy to settle with just two. After all I already had one of each [ boy and girl ]. But I always feel like I'm short changing one or the other.

When my daughter was born I had to work long crazy hours and most of them at
night. So I worked hard at being there for her and playing with her. When my
son came along I was doing real estate and I had the luxury to care for my son
and I spent lots of time with him. But Real estate is bad and now I have a
regular JOB. My time is short and now spread thin between work, wife, home and
kids.

I feel like I'm just so busy to actually give both of them the time they need.
Especially since one is so much younger than the other. Oh and when it's bed
time - I just don't have the strength to read to my son - and that bothers me -
since I always read to my baby girl when she was his age. I feel like I'm
falling short.

I love my children - they are the world to me. But my world seems to be tearing
itself apart. My daughter is getting to that age where spending time with dad
is second if not last on her list. I don't want to be that kind of dad that
doesn't know his kids. I want a relationship with my kids... How do you make
time, split the time wisely or make time stop....