What you think does matter

Funny How You Keep Me in a Constant Flux of Confusion We are sitting in the kitchen, my wife, son, his friend Pate and I. We’re eating the wonderful meal the wife has prepared for us when suddenly my wife begins to explain how she cannot simply stand the smell of ketchup - that is why she can't it ketchup. She then says, that she eats ketchup with her white rice but the rice has to be hot or very warm in order for her to be able to eat the ketchup. Of course my son who does not clearly understand the delicate intricacies of his mother’s way of thinking quickly pointed out: Mom, if you hate the way ketchup smells how can you eat it in your rice? She then quickly tries to explain that it is not the same thing, that she can eat it because it is on the hot or warm white rice. My son being his mother’s son, rebutted: But Mom, the smell didn’t change, it still smells the same way, nothing changed. If you can’t eat it because you hate the smell – then why are you eating it? ...

OK I do this every once and awhile on Facebook because life is strange and some of the conversations that happen in my house, well, are odd, strange and downright hilarious. But yes, like I said, I do it on Facebook because it’s an interesting way to share my funny personal life without feeling like I am sharing too much. So I am going to try it here with you. Here we go. Mom: Son go take a bath. Son: Why? I just want to sit here next to you. Mom: Son, I said “go take a bath” now! Dad: Do what Mommy said. Son: OK, OK you don’t have to scream… Mom and Dad look at each other wondering – who was screaming? Son goes into the bathroom – five minutes pass and Mom and Dad notice that there is no sound of running water. Mom: son what are you doing? Son: I am pooping. Mom: What is taking you so long? Son: Because pooping is relaxing…. Mom looks at Dad: What did he just say? Dad: I think he said that popping is relaxing (then Dad laughs out loud). Tell me you got it. Tell you ...

Please do not take offense - just some of the funny political COMICs of 2013 that are on my favorite list. Check them out.    

Holly Crap, This has been the Longest "New years Eve" EVER...ER..ER.. I have no complaints, instead of going out we had our own New years eve party bash at home. Which means I spent several days getting ready for this year end bash. But, that is a deferent story. For the Party we had the kids, some of my daughters friends, some of my wife's friends.... And .. No, none of my friends??? weird huh?.... But, even though.. I was glad to see they had fun. We had way too much food, some one brought a large bottle of Vodka [ no I didn't drink, neither did the kids… ]. We had the Wii, the Xbox connect, someone brought the board game "Cranium".. So yes they had fun. They were dancing - if you can call it dancing. They were playing sports with sports connect [ so funny to watch… I am not allowed to post the videos ] and they played that cranium game... That is a strange game. Did you noticed I said they.... Well, I was the only one that had worked a full day and to top...

How was Christmas... Good, I had fun - the kids had fun and they loved the presents. But I have to say I think they were trying to kill me. No, really! My daughter got this cool game called "Just Dance 2". She has been ranting and raving about it for a very long time now. It is one of those things you say - I hope no one else gets her this because she is going to love it. which by the way she did...... Oh boy did she ever.... But boy did I have a surprise. But what I did not expect was the heart attack just waiting to happen when we started playing this game. My goodness - I am an avid video game player and when I play I get all into it. Just watch me play tennis on the Wii... you better give me room because I swing my arms like if I was really on the court and swinging a real racket. So when they put the game in, the music started pumping and they were playing one of my old favorite hip hop songs.... yeah I had to go all out.... Oh yeah I got the moves…. Oh my God, I jumped,...

Ok, this happened for real - this is a true story. So all you blondes, please - don't be offended. It's a joke but also a true story. So here we go: I was working in the store and a sweet blonde older woman walked in. She was excitedly flustered and greeted me with a desperate plea - “can you help me? I don't know what's wrong with my cell phone. it's not working at all.” As I took the phone from her hand to inspect it - she embarrassedly explained how she did everything she could do to make it work... she put it to charge, she checked the battery, she made sure the phone wasn't damaged.... but it did not want to work. After a minute of playing with it I put it in her hand and said - there you go it's working. She gasp with elation and asked me how did I fix her phone: I quietly told her - I turned it on.... Don’t want to believe me - fine.. But it happened, it is a true story. I felt so bad for her, I didn’t want her to be embarrassed or feel stupid. But he...

Here I was looking thru the thousands of pictures I have of my children and I started to notice something weird. You know - one of those odd things only parents do with their children. I don’t know if this was planned [ by my wife ] or if she just subconsciously did it but I found photos of my son sitting on the toilet. Now it might not sound odd at first - but she took one in 2005, took one in 2006 and then another in 2007...? I have a few of the pictures here on the blog - ain't he cute? Now yeah, she was probably proud of my little man and his progress with his “poddy training”... but these pictures are 3 years apart ? Ofcourse these are the kinds of pics we all wish Mom never had - because they most certainly will come out of the closet when we bring our date over to visit.. Boy, I remember the day my Mom brought out some baby pictures of me to show my girlfriend how cute I was as a baby [ never mind I was 3 years old in a crib and sucking a pacifier ] Couldn't she have fou...

Here are some stories I've been saving for when my kids grow up - actual events - funny.... It is very important to always know what to do in case of an emergency. It can save lives to be prepared. While walking down the street one day, my wife mistook the sound of a car back firing for the sound of a gun shot. She immediately went into action. She grabbed my arm and screamed “ everyone, STOP, DROP and Roll !” As a father, I try to teach my children the best way I know how. When my son turned two (2), he and my daughter found it an enjoyable exercise to run wildly around the house. Since my son does everything his sister does, I explained to my little girl that I wanted her to walk, not run in the house. It was a dangerous and unsafe thing to do, that is how people get hurt. If your running you can easily run into something and seriously get hurt. Feeling sure she understood what I was telling her, I turned around and walked straight into the closed glass porch door.... We decide...

Is it me or is my four year old trying to get rid of me?? Here I was happy to have a day off where I could hang out, do as I pleased and in fact - was happy to go and pick up my four year old son from pre-k school. But boy was I in for a surprise. I go and pick him up a half hour earlier than his scheduled time - out of love [ or because I didn’t want to waste the gas driving back and forth - you judge ] and when I signed him out early - he only had one thing to ask of me... Why are you not working??? What, did I hear you right? So I asked him, what do you mean… and he said.. What are you doing home, aren’t you working today?? Hey, come on - can’t a dad get a break… It’s my day off and I want to spend it with you. Why would you want to bring up work and are you trying to get rid of me kid??? Come on, maybe the next time I have a day off I’ll just disappear and not come home - see if you like that one buddy. Life is so strange - and kids their even stranger. Imagine that - a four year o...

Missing my children.?... It’s weird, maybe I’m not the typical dad or parent that rushes out the door screaming “yeah, I can get away from my kids now!”.. no offense… But I am close to my kids and I’ve been working 6 days a week at different hours of the day and between school and work - I haven’t been able to spend real quality time with my kids. I guess the real reason I’m upset is because today the first Saturday I have off to be with the kids [ and mow lawn and do home work… grrr...] my son is sick and my duaghter just wants to visit her friend…??? Hey, what about Dad? I was just taking a moment to look over some photos as I try to recover from my depression - take a look below.. Kids - can’t live without them and they can’t wait to abandon you....

I ran across a very funny joke online - you have to read it.... Funny Doctor and Spaghetti joke... A doctor started having an affair with his nurse. A short while later, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack...

Some times I can’t help but wonder- is this really my life? Is this what I really wanted? What about my marriage, my kids - me??? Yeah life throws you some curve balls and your spouse and kids can drive you up the wall….. But then I think of all the laughs, jokes, fun and good times we’ve had and shared - and say … what a waste -- no, just joking. I can’t imagine my life any better with out them. Especially without my boy and girl…life wouldn’t be the same without them. So just incase your having a "need a smile" day - hear is an old marriage joke I revised and turned into art..

Every Morning is a challenge - but this one was a whole defferent story. Some of you may not know but, I went to venice, Florida for some training and took the family so they could enjoy the beach [ another story I'll share next post - life is so unfair ....]. So, when we came back - trying to get these kids ready for school the next morning was a nightmare. My son, he acted like a wet noodle. I'd pick him up so he could stand and he would just melt and slide down into the bed. My duaghter - well - you can just imagine how she got up. Not a happy camper. In fact my son fell asleep on the way to school - what a twist. So here is some art to enjoy and tell me what you think.

? ? ? Honey what’s that Smell? So here we are watching TV and the kids are doing what they always do [ argue about something trivial ] and this weird smell hits me. It just seemed to fill the air. I didn’t notice it before so I was a bit confused - ofcourse at first I thought someone let one rip [ you know, silent but deadly ]. After much debate [ it was daddy, no mommy, no Isaac, oh that smell...] we soon realized it was coming from that small little creature called general. Our visitor was starting to smell, it’s normal after all he is a dog [ literally ]. So the time came for my wife to give her first "doggy bath". Hey that’s what you have to do if you have a dog. I expected this to be a disaster, a real nightmare - but it turned out to be a mild inconvenience.. The dog was no trouble at all, my wife on the other hand was acting like the dog was a new born baby and she was a first time mother. Can I do this, will this hurt him, is it the right soap... On and on.... it’s ...

I used to have a boss who apparently only felt comfortable when she made everyone else feel inferior [ dumb ]. It didn't matter what was happening or if she was wrong - as long as she made you look dumb - she was happy. I am so glad I don't work for her any more. That's why I work hard to teach my kids [ especially my daughter ] to value themselves, to feel confident in themselves. Theres nothing wrong with being shy or wrong - but never think less of yourself. Also, it doesn't matter if it's your boss, friend or family, your important and have value... don't let anyone tell you different.

Whats your name girl? Ever wonder what a name means, or where it came from. Do you know why or where your parents choose your name - or why they decided to name you after uncle Bob? I was having a bit of fun with the girls and going back to the old days where I use to make silly songs out of their names - I decided to have some fun - at their expense of course. How do you pronounce your name?

Ah, the world I live in and the craziness that follows. My life is full of insanity, and my crazy unstable mind has thoughts on these funny pictures. Tell me what you think and have a good funny laugh. Talk about high gas prices effecting your life. Drinking is bad for everyone Are you feeling safe & Secure today ? East meet West ... So much for political correctness.

I hear people talk about how video games are a bad influence on our children. And I am starting to wonder if they are right. I think my 4 year old son has a problem - atleast with video games. He woke up this morning and asked me one thing - “Can I play now?” Looking at this photo - I'm wondering if he wasn't sleep walking - boy does this kid have it bad for video games.

I couldn't help it. When your bored on a saturday afternoon and you've been left alone and all you have is your internet - funny things happen. Here is my second installment of funny pictures and my thoughts. Well, when your hungry - anything looks good. I didn't say it, I just point out the facts... Sometimes it's best not to get involved.... Someone call the fire department!

With Season 4 of LOST now on a month hiatus, you have to wonder what the Losties are up to during the break. Created by Benny & Rafi Fine