What you think does matter

OK I do this every once and awhile on Facebook because life is strange and some of the conversations that happen in my house, well, are odd, strange and downright hilarious. But yes, like I said, I do it on Facebook because it’s an interesting way to share my funny personal life without feeling like I am sharing too much. So I am going to try it here with you. Here we go. Mom: Son go take a bath. Son: Why? I just want to sit here next to you. Mom: Son, I said “go take a bath” now! Dad: Do what Mommy said. Son: OK, OK you don’t have to scream… Mom and Dad look at each other wondering – who was screaming? Son goes into the bathroom – five minutes pass and Mom and Dad notice that there is no sound of running water. Mom: son what are you doing? Son: I am pooping. Mom: What is taking you so long? Son: Because pooping is relaxing…. Mom looks at Dad: What did he just say? Dad: I think he said that popping is relaxing (then Dad laughs out loud). Tell me you got it. Tell you

Oh, the internet is filled with so much wonder - but most times I just need a good luagh. So what do I do - I search the image section of Googles extensive search engine to see what i can find. Most often times, I find junk, perversion and what not... The internet is filled with horndogs. But ocassionally I find some very funny images, pics and jokes that I thought I would share with you. After all the internet is a big place and who knows if I will ever find these pics again. So save them I do to past them here [ sound like Yoda from star wars - "save them I do". So take a look, have a luagh and tell me what you think?

My son the new GQ man of the month… He looks good I have to say. This pic would make a great GQ cover… which is funny since he loves to run around the house in only his underwear. But then again isn’t how Marky Mark got into magazines? Posing on magazine covers in only his tighty whities…. What do you think, should I get him a magazine deal? Is he too young? Too short.. lol Aw I’m just joking. I don’t think I could be that kind of parent. Bussing my kid from place to place - I want my kids to be kids. I seem to have a deep seeded fear in having them grow up to fast anyway. My daughter is already 13 and I feel like I am losing her… I do not want my little boy to grow up anytime soon.

Holly Crap, This has been the Longest "New years Eve" EVER...ER..ER.. I have no complaints, instead of going out we had our own New years eve party bash at home. Which means I spent several days getting ready for this year end bash. But, that is a deferent story. For the Party we had the kids, some of my daughters friends, some of my wife's friends.... And .. No, none of my friends??? weird huh?.... But, even though.. I was glad to see they had fun. We had way too much food, some one brought a large bottle of Vodka [ no I didn't drink, neither did the kids… ]. We had the Wii, the Xbox connect, someone brought the board game "Cranium".. So yes they had fun. They were dancing - if you can call it dancing. They were playing sports with sports connect [ so funny to watch… I am not allowed to post the videos ] and they played that cranium game... That is a strange game. Did you noticed I said they.... Well, I was the only one that had worked a full day and to top

Don't just sit around the house... Get out and enjoy nature. Aw look at the pretty birds Honey.....

Life can be so cruel. House full of people and all you want is some privacy - you know. Come on, atleast when your in the bathroom. For godness sake can't a man have some peace when he is on his thrown.....LOL

Caller : Hi, our printer is not working. Customer Service: What is wrong with it? Caller : Mouse is jammed. Customer Service: Mouse? Printers don't have a mouse you idiot! Caller: Mmmmm??.. Oh really?... I will send a picture. Scroll down.

Airport Escapades - night of confusion! As most families do - I went to the airport to pick up my in-laws. Their flight was arriving at 9:45pm and I expected them to be late. After all, when did any flight arrive on time. But not even two thirds on the way I get a phone call from my in-laws??? Yes, their flight had already landed and they were wondering where we were. So I applied a bit more pressure to the gas pedal and off I went. If the trip wasn’t bad enough with finding no attendee at the toll booth and barley having enough change - the night only got worst. I went around the airport trying to get to section A and find the jet blue station for arriving flights. Ofcourse just as I found the arriving flight section for jet blue I get a call from my mother in-law telling me she was at the departing section - How? I don’t know. So around the airport I went again to the departing area - get there and I can’t find them. So one more call and my father-in-law tells me they’re in the secti

Is Mom a Pole Dancer? I got this in my email this morning - I think it's so funny - children I tell you. Mom explians child's Homework - always check your childs homework .... VERY FUNNY !!! (Here's the reply the teacher received the following day) Dear Mrs. Jones, I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer. I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot. From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in. Sincerely, Mrs. Smith

Having just one of those days... You ever had one of those days - you know, the one you wish you could just rewind and do over completly different. I just wish life had a off switch or atleast a fast forward button. It's funny - it started innocent enough - then it started.... car problems, kids having problems, the spouse angry becuase of stress... Oh God she's comming at me with a knife... lol Please, someone explian it to me... Why is it that when something goes wrong, it seems everything goes wrong. Can't we have a system where problems can just take turns... I guess I shouldn't complian, my father-in-law just turned 50 and he's not complianing - probably becuase he is too busy complianing about me.... Ha, good one. Needed a luagh. Well, I guess life is just a never ending battle and i have to take my own advice - enjoy what you can, while you can, for as long as you can - becuase the kids grow up, the spouse gets old and you get closer to the grave [ the nice d

My son is crazy - just like me! Both my kids are the world to me - they make me luagh, cry and experience the world thru thier eye [ fresh, new and exciting ]. But I really think they are trying to quietly drive me insane. let me explain: For the last three nights my son has been going to bed [ that’s normal ] but when I go to wake him up in the morning - I find him wearing different cloths - I mean i know he went to bed wearing orange boxers and a white t-shirt, but in the morning he has red boxers and a blue t-shirt ????? It's like waking up in an alternate universe.. I ask him why and when did he change and he says - "because".... So basically my son wakes up in the middle of the night to change his cloths so he could look good in the morning... Or maybe just to drive the old man batty! Enjoy the funny video

If you see this man - don't let him into your kitchen!

Show and tell One of the favorite things my son likes to do in school is - participate in "show and tell". Sometimes I think he spends the whole week thinking about what he will bring to school on friday for show and tell. One night he was searching around and under the couch [ don't ask cuase I don't know ] and he told me he found the perfect show and tell item.... what you ask? Well, a green slimy frog. That's right a frog. Some how a frog sneaked into my house and under my couch and my curiouse son found him [ bad for the frog ]. The funny thing about it was what I did not get to catch on video - it was halariouse watching him trying to pick the frog up and hold it while the slimmy little thing kept jumping up into the air. I don't know why, but first it was a mouse running around my house, I have this small dog visiting and now, I have a frog.... is this some kind of Biblical plegue????

How do you know your old? that is a good question. Well here are two tips: One - if you have to take time to count the candles - your old.... two - when the room fills with smoke after you blow out the candles, boy you are old!

What do you do when all the family shows up at your house two weeks before thanksgiving? You have thanksgiving early - really - really early. We had the family from New York come down for two weeks - so we had thanksgiving dinner before they went back to NY. Talk about hecktic - I guess the one good thing is that we may have saved some money on shaopping - supermarkets always hike up the prices before the holidays. We also avoided the mad rush at the stores... but boy, having that many people at your house - way to much work. If I counted right, there were about tweenty people at the house more if I missed some of the kids.... Here take a look: see video

I've been working on teaching my four year old son how to ride his bike with out the training wheels. Ofcourse his Mom didn't help by putting the training wheels back on the bike - talk about a giant step backwards. This last week I had some time to spend with him and I went thru the process of teaching him from scratch - again..... After I built up his confidence - in that I wouldn't let him fall - I had one single thought in my mind... God I hope he doesn't crash or hit the ground hard ???? I couldn't help but picture him going down in a blaze of glory - blaming me for not stopping him from falling... Maybe it had to do with the fact that I made the same promise to my duaghter a few years back and I couldn't keep it.. She didn't trust me for a while when it came to the bike... Or maybe it was becuase I was holding a video camera - and hey, it would make a good you tube video... if he falls that is [ people love to see others suffer - sick world..] But all

Is it me or is my four year old trying to get rid of me?? Here I was happy to have a day off where I could hang out, do as I pleased and in fact - was happy to go and pick up my four year old son from pre-k school. But boy was I in for a surprise. I go and pick him up a half hour earlier than his scheduled time - out of love [ or because I didn’t want to waste the gas driving back and forth - you judge ] and when I signed him out early - he only had one thing to ask of me... Why are you not working??? What, did I hear you right? So I asked him, what do you mean… and he said.. What are you doing home, aren’t you working today?? Hey, come on - can’t a dad get a break… It’s my day off and I want to spend it with you. Why would you want to bring up work and are you trying to get rid of me kid??? Come on, maybe the next time I have a day off I’ll just disappear and not come home - see if you like that one buddy. Life is so strange - and kids their even stranger. Imagine that - a four year o

Missing my children.?... It’s weird, maybe I’m not the typical dad or parent that rushes out the door screaming “yeah, I can get away from my kids now!”.. no offense… But I am close to my kids and I’ve been working 6 days a week at different hours of the day and between school and work - I haven’t been able to spend real quality time with my kids. I guess the real reason I’m upset is because today the first Saturday I have off to be with the kids [ and mow lawn and do home work… grrr...] my son is sick and my duaghter just wants to visit her friend…??? Hey, what about Dad? I was just taking a moment to look over some photos as I try to recover from my depression - take a look below.. Kids - can’t live without them and they can’t wait to abandon you....

Breaking Manufacturing rules for My kids Safety ? Well, I haven’t been able to write much about the crazy things that happen with my family, I’ve been busy working and my hours are speratic. One day I work mornings the next night - it’s crazy. But I just had to take the time to write this down. You know that everything you buy has a manufacturer guidelines, rules and all that. It’s there to keep you from doing something that would end up hurting you. Well, I broke the rules in order to help my little boy from getting hurt. Really - I broke the rules to protect my child? Well, the thing is my son wants to ride his bike without training wheels - unlike his sister who took several years up to the age of seven or eight to learn how to ride with out training wheels - he wants to be like her, compete with her and wants to learn how to ride his bike without training wheels. Ofcourse he is only four years old and learning will be tough - but my real problem is, I don’t want him to fall down an

How do you make politics simple enough for an eleven year old to understand - turn the TV off! Really, it’s hard enough explaining life and the every day things to your kids - why would a teacher give my child an extra credit assignment that requires her to stay up late past her bed time to watch something she has no knowledge or concept of? I was going to watch the Vice Presidential debate anyway - but it’s hard to really listen to the debate when your eleven year old child who wants to do good in school is asking you “what does that mean?” “why did they say that?”. How can I hear the issues when I’m busy explaining to my child why Biden said he opposes fraud from the mortgage companies, the big oil companies and how Obama will stop that [ despite that fact that Obama was taking kick backs from Freddie Mac and Fannie May when they were committing the fraud???] But hey - thank you teacher for making my day a bit more interesting! One good thing came out of last nights debate as I watch