What you think does matter

I ran across a very funny joke online - you have to read it.... Funny Doctor and Spaghetti joke... A doctor started having an affair with his nurse. A short while later, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack...

Some times I can’t help but wonder- is this really my life? Is this what I really wanted? What about my marriage, my kids - me??? Yeah life throws you some curve balls and your spouse and kids can drive you up the wall….. But then I think of all the laughs, jokes, fun and good times we’ve had and shared - and say … what a waste -- no, just joking. I can’t imagine my life any better with out them. Especially without my boy and girl…life wouldn’t be the same without them. So just incase your having a "need a smile" day - hear is an old marriage joke I revised and turned into art..

Parenting Advice: REACH FOR YOUR GUNS !!!! Before you think my “Parenting Advice” is abusive or comes from the NRA [ national riffle association ] handbook let me just say - it’s a figure of speech. My parenting advice is meant to [ Mom or dad - best both ] have a plan of action. Let me tell you a little story - here I am walking thru the grocery store and I notice a Mom with a small child [ looks to be 4 yrs old ] and she seems to be loosing it. Her kid is not listening to her, he is embarrassing her and she seems to be frozen - unsure what to do. Me, I would have smacked him up side the head [ figure of speech people ] and put and end to it. But many people think different. I had people say they don’t hit their child in public because they don’t want people talking [ clarification - nosy people calling child services ]. Some have told me that they just talk to their children they don’t hit them... Others - they just freak - their so embarrassed that their kid is acting up in public ...

Life is So unfair at the beach ??? Oh how unfair life can be. As promised I wanted to share my trip with you. I had to go to Venice Florida for some training and my Boss was gracious enough to put me up in a beautiful condo right on the beach. He even suggested that I bring the family along so we could have a nice time of it. At first I was leery of one - taking him up on his offer - second, taking my family along for the ride. But the more I thought about being away for two days the more it sounded - ok. Ofcourse my wife loved the idea. The minute she heard that the condo was right on the beach and that the back door opens up right on to the beach - it didn’t take her long to start packing. So what’s so unfair about life and this situation: well, where do I start. Let me begin with how first it wasn’t a trip for me - I had to work, and while I woke up early and went to bed early because I had to be at work - my kids and my sweet wife enjoyed the beach [ see the pictures below and the...

Every Morning is a challenge - but this one was a whole defferent story. Some of you may not know but, I went to venice, Florida for some training and took the family so they could enjoy the beach [ another story I'll share next post - life is so unfair ....]. So, when we came back - trying to get these kids ready for school the next morning was a nightmare. My son, he acted like a wet noodle. I'd pick him up so he could stand and he would just melt and slide down into the bed. My duaghter - well - you can just imagine how she got up. Not a happy camper. In fact my son fell asleep on the way to school - what a twist. So here is some art to enjoy and tell me what you think.

The hills are alive with the sound of Music... You know, I usually look forward to the week end. It’s time to hang loose, the most I worry about is if I can get away with “not doing “ the lawn. Heck, come Saturday night - I look forward to joining my kids and watching some Naruto [ cartoons ]. But, lately my week ends seem to bring fear, large amounts of fear. Look, I am grateful that my daughter has an interest for music. She’s shown interest in the "recorder" [ looks like a flute to me ], she’s taken some tips on the Drums from me and when she showed interest in the Piano - a teacher at her elementary school gave her some tips. So what does she do when she get “band” in middle school [ jr high ] - she decides she wants to learn how to play the Alto-Saxophone ???? So what’s the problem, what causes me such fear - I love my little girl, but when she ask me if I can pick her up Friday from school so she can bring home her Alto-saxophone so she can practice making noise.... I ...

Parenting Advice: Build your children’s self esteem with Rap Music? Here is a "Parenting Advice" and "Parenting tip" - It’s a bit unorthodox so hear me out. I used a little Nelly rap song to teach my child [ daughter ] to build her self esteem. " I am #1, 2 is not a winner and 3 no one remembers… What does it take to be #1 - hey, hey, hey ..." This method of “Parenting advice” may sound a bit off, but please - give me some time to completely explain my madness. I know most people hear the words “Rap music” and they think - degrading, thug, junk... So how did I teach my daughter about having good self esteem with a rap song? Well, one day I heard this song and it was so catchy - I spent days humming the chorus and singing the chorus to myself. I just couldn’t get it out of my head. Then came a conversation with my wife - she was expressing her concern over our daughters “shyness” and her fear that our daughter may have low self esteem. So an Idea ...

Remember September eleventh [ 9 - 11] Take a moment to remember, think back.. It’s not about being democrat or Republican - but American. It’s not about Obama or McCain - but Rights. It’s not about approval of the war - but honoring lives. It’s not about politics or rhetoric - but Freedom. Remember 9 - 11

Marriage is like a boxing Match In the immortal words of Forrest Gump’s Mama : “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get”. And this is so true, Life is always a surprise and as I contemplate the meaning of Life, I can not help but ponder the comparison I see in a marriage and a Boxing match.... Maybe it’s me or maybe lack of sleep - but think about it. After having one of those [ what the hell were we fighting about ] bouts with my wife, I came up with the comparison of marriage and a boxing match. Indulge me as I show my reasoning: Marriage - compared to - a Boxing match You get married ---- you agree to clash You have disagreements --- you come to disagree You fight --- you throw blows You fight several times --- several rounds to fight You quickly change topics --- you dodge and weave You get hurt --- you get the snot beat out of you You choose your battles --- you choose your punches You bite back --- you bite an ear off [ learned that fr...

I agree: Women are stronger than Men! I was having a conversation with my wife and a female friend of hers and some how it turned into this cock fight - I don’t know how we got into the topic but before I knew it two women were telling me that “women are stronger than men“… That men could not survive without women. Ofcourse instinctively my mind went into defense mode and I was thinking of all these witty come backs: Men have always been stronger - just look at caveman… If women are so strong why do you need us to open a jar… If women are so strong, why doesn’t that teenage girl golfer ever win against the men… If women are so strong why …and then it hit me, that empty shell I call a brain stopped and I looked at my son, looked at my wife and told my wife’s friend : “your right, women are stronger than men. If only because no man could endure the process of natural child birth…” They both looked at me, smiled, gloated and forgot about it and went on with what we were origina...

Curbing Child tantrums Question: how do you deal with your childr's disruptive temper tantrums? Parents TV weighs in [ see video below ] Look, maybe I'm old school - hell, I am old school. Want to know how I deal with children’s tantrums - "Corporal Punishment".. That’s right - I said it. I know, your shocked, surprised, appalled - oh my. Look, I am not talking about abuse or child endangerment - I'm talking about punishing your child. Depending on what age my child is and his/her mental capacity [ meaning if it hurts him more to take away the x-box than a spanking - take the x-box away ]. And ofcourse if your child leans towards talking fine talk - but. I mean but, never forget your child is a child and will do things to test your limits and it will require you to punish that child in a corporal manner [ spanking ]. Let me give you an example: My father-in-law has this story. He tells me that when his youngest daughter was very small he asked her to do something ...

I was picking up my son from pre-k school today and I just happened to over hear this conversation - “I’m sorry - the darn waiting area is so small - how can I not over hear the conversation”... But this mom was talking to another mom [ luckily I’m not the only Dad there…] about how she almost breaks down every morning when she brings her little girl to school. I could sympathize with her, I’m a man and I almost broke down when my son gave me those - your abandoning sorrowful tear filled eyes look. Ofcourse the second Mom who of her own admission has way to many kids - said… “oh, I was so happy when school started, I finally got some free time again”. Not what the first mom was expecting to hear - in fact every one in the waiting room was a bit shocked [ but we pretended not to hear ]. Then the second mom went on to say - that after having the first one, the second, the third and the fourth - parting with them was pretty easy. Now she wakes up eager to take her kids to school. Hey, don...

Losing 15,000 family pictures and memories! Trying to save our precious photo memories. What parent doesn’t want to take a picture of their child. I’m sure most parents like myself have hundreds if not thousands of pictures of their children. A picture of a first step or a first birthday - these photos all stored away in boxes and tubs in a closet. How many families have lost thousands of precious memories because of flooding or fire and all these pictures and memories are gone. The solution has been to move over to digital cameras and digital pictures - you not only save closet storage space, but you can save all those pictures on your computer. What most of use do not consider is - what if your computer goes down? My brother-in-law gave me a call once, he needed me to help him fix his computer. It apparently went down and he couldn’t do anything with it. Well after I tried everything I knew and we spent more than three hours on the phone with tech support [ mostly waiting ] we came t...

School, strange request? Here is a funny thought: My daughter comes home from school and after spending time arguing with her brother and driving me a bit batty - she tells me the teacher gave me homework. What? She said that I had to do it and that it was due tomorrow. Well, first I was not in a good mood and second I don't have to do anything... [ got that out of my system ] My so called school homework was to describe my child to the teacher in a million words or less - funny, a million words or less. Right now I can use one - bother or pest or well you know... Ofcourse my first reaction was - you have to be kidding right. After all - isn't the teachers job to assess my child? Besides what parent wouldn't lie thru their teeth about their child on a thing like this. It's like filling out a resume - you put all the good things and leave out all the bad. It's what I do. Then my wife came in, took over and wrote this glowing inspiring report about my daughter - as he...