What you think does matter

Funny How You Keep Me in a Constant Flux of Confusion We are sitting in the kitchen, my wife, son, his friend Pate and I. We’re eating the wonderful meal the wife has prepared for us when suddenly my wife begins to explain how she cannot simply stand the smell of ketchup - that is why she can't it ketchup. She then says, that she eats ketchup with her white rice but the rice has to be hot or very warm in order for her to be able to eat the ketchup. Of course my son who does not clearly understand the delicate intricacies of his mother’s way of thinking quickly pointed out: Mom, if you hate the way ketchup smells how can you eat it in your rice? She then quickly tries to explain that it is not the same thing, that she can eat it because it is on the hot or warm white rice. My son being his mother’s son, rebutted: But Mom, the smell didn’t change, it still smells the same way, nothing changed. If you can’t eat it because you hate the smell – then why are you eating it? ...

OK I do this every once and awhile on Facebook because life is strange and some of the conversations that happen in my house, well, are odd, strange and downright hilarious. But yes, like I said, I do it on Facebook because it’s an interesting way to share my funny personal life without feeling like I am sharing too much. So I am going to try it here with you. Here we go. Mom: Son go take a bath. Son: Why? I just want to sit here next to you. Mom: Son, I said “go take a bath” now! Dad: Do what Mommy said. Son: OK, OK you don’t have to scream… Mom and Dad look at each other wondering – who was screaming? Son goes into the bathroom – five minutes pass and Mom and Dad notice that there is no sound of running water. Mom: son what are you doing? Son: I am pooping. Mom: What is taking you so long? Son: Because pooping is relaxing…. Mom looks at Dad: What did he just say? Dad: I think he said that popping is relaxing (then Dad laughs out loud). Tell me you got it. Tell you ...

Funny and maybe Not so Funny school wide email  - SEE BELOW I love children, they are all unique in their own special way. But I am a realist and I know for a fact that the right child can drive any adult to the brink of insanity. I have seen a lot of things working in the school system and dealing with all sorts of children - but this, the email I received from a friend, this takes the cake. Before I let you read the email, I want you to consider this: children are children. You "DON'T" send children to school to learn manners, respect or any social skill that should be taught at home. With that said I am sure that if it was you that had to deal with these out of control children - you would not be so ready to judge. You tell me: what would you do if a child crapped his pants in the middle of your class and doesn't want to change his clothing?

Joke, funny or Crazy... What do you do when you want to celebrate your birthday - well, you jump out of a perfectly good airplane of course. Or at least that is what one of my friends did. This is what I would have been thinking - but this is just me.  Wow! we are going to have so much fun - we Rock!!   OMG! Am I really going through with it?   I guess I might as well go I did pay for this...     Holy Crap! How high are we?   Wait I'm not ready, wait....   I do not want ....     to DIE .. ieieiei     AAaaaaaaaaaa!     ..........    This is my hysterical face ..     Uh .... when do we open the shoot? When? Hello!     Oh, thank you Jesus! Get me out of this this now! (Proceeds to kiss ground and vomit..)

Funny silly healthcare Joke / Canada Has Death Panels .... I recently read an article about healthcare and the title – of all things it reads like this: Canada Has Death Panels … And that’s a good thing. Order your copy @ Amazon Marly's Million Dollar Coat Hanger Girl Power Empowerment - and a cute entertaining story. At first I thought it was a joke, sarcasm – I read the article waiting for the punch line but it never came. Maybe I missed it I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt – but I doubt I did. I found it odd that he could be so callus with his attitude. Personally I had a brother (Albert) who was very sick and I know what it is to have a family member so sick that you find yourself conflicted, struggling to come to grips with the debate in your heart: Is it better to let him go or to keep him alive? No one should have to go through that and trust me I know how it feels, how much it hurts but we choose to help my brother live, for as long as he could until it was time...

Ever thought, I " hate my job ".... Well, here is a funny comic that goes with a very true story about why people hate their jobs, their managers and usually dream of kiiling their Boss. You have to love this, what makes it funny and sad is that this really happens. Did you like the "hate my job, funny comic" strip? It took me 3 days to think up and create the art work.... it took a real life thirty minute experience to come up with the "hate my job" joke. No, really - let me explain. I work part time for a cellphone retailer. I work about two nights a week, at the local mall, the night shift mostly. Since my manager did not provide me with a key to the bank night drop deposite box, I would prepare any deposite we have [ as well as paper work ] and I would leave it in the cash register for the next shift to take to the bank. My manager had no problem with this, on several occassion I even called him and told him, due to the fact that I had no key ...

People are always sending me some funny pics, here are a few I like and what I thought of when I first saw them. Tell me what you think or if you have a better caption. Life is fun and I want to play too I always thought Mom was a stiff old board Naw dude come over I'm just layin around Dude it looks nothing like me Well you did say make myself at home...

My son the new GQ man of the month… He looks good I have to say. This pic would make a great GQ cover… which is funny since he loves to run around the house in only his underwear. But then again isn’t how Marky Mark got into magazines? Posing on magazine covers in only his tighty whities…. What do you think, should I get him a magazine deal? Is he too young? Too short.. lol Aw I’m just joking. I don’t think I could be that kind of parent. Bussing my kid from place to place - I want my kids to be kids. I seem to have a deep seeded fear in having them grow up to fast anyway. My daughter is already 13 and I feel like I am losing her… I do not want my little boy to grow up anytime soon.

Holly Crap, This has been the Longest "New years Eve" EVER...ER..ER.. I have no complaints, instead of going out we had our own New years eve party bash at home. Which means I spent several days getting ready for this year end bash. But, that is a deferent story. For the Party we had the kids, some of my daughters friends, some of my wife's friends.... And .. No, none of my friends??? weird huh?.... But, even though.. I was glad to see they had fun. We had way too much food, some one brought a large bottle of Vodka [ no I didn't drink, neither did the kids… ]. We had the Wii, the Xbox connect, someone brought the board game "Cranium".. So yes they had fun. They were dancing - if you can call it dancing. They were playing sports with sports connect [ so funny to watch… I am not allowed to post the videos ] and they played that cranium game... That is a strange game. Did you noticed I said they.... Well, I was the only one that had worked a full day and to top...

How was Christmas... Good, I had fun - the kids had fun and they loved the presents. But I have to say I think they were trying to kill me. No, really! My daughter got this cool game called "Just Dance 2". She has been ranting and raving about it for a very long time now. It is one of those things you say - I hope no one else gets her this because she is going to love it. which by the way she did...... Oh boy did she ever.... But boy did I have a surprise. But what I did not expect was the heart attack just waiting to happen when we started playing this game. My goodness - I am an avid video game player and when I play I get all into it. Just watch me play tennis on the Wii... you better give me room because I swing my arms like if I was really on the court and swinging a real racket. So when they put the game in, the music started pumping and they were playing one of my old favorite hip hop songs.... yeah I had to go all out.... Oh yeah I got the moves…. Oh my God, I jumped,...

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his pretty blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and again slammed it shut. Angrily, back into the house she went.... As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever.... Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?” To which she replied, “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, ‘YOU’VE GOT MAIL’.”

Don't just sit around the house... Get out and enjoy nature. Aw look at the pretty birds Honey.....

Life can be so cruel. House full of people and all you want is some privacy - you know. Come on, atleast when your in the bathroom. For godness sake can't a man have some peace when he is on his thrown.....LOL

How do you know your getting old? Here is a good question: How do you know your getting old? I have been noticing that beside the fact that my age is showing - you know, grey hair, wrinkles, tiring easily and the hair thing….. I have also notice the not so subtle things that scream “old” to those around me. Take for instance: 1- A new fashion craze seems oddly similar to an old fashion when you were a kid. 2- You like new hip music because unknowing to you it sampled an old favorite song of yours. 3- New tv shows, movies and so forth annoys you because it doesn’t do justice to the original series. 4- When you try to help your kids with their homework you find out that “NO” you are not smarter than a fifth grader. I guess the biggest clue I had in realizing how age is creeping up on me is this one obvious clue - I was sitting at work, I got up and realized I had some how sprained my ankle. I figure I’d walk it off - not good. I figured that I would bounce back and tomorrow I would be ba...

Why is the Government watching Me and you I openly oppose the government - by that I mean, oppose big government. I am not in favor of more and more government control. When I talk to people about my concerns about the government being too big, having too much control - I usually get that “he is crazy” look. Well, four months ago my name was part of the census program thingy. Every month for three months the same guy shows up at my door asking me questions the government needs to know. For three months, every month - the same darn questions: Who lives here? How old are we? Do we work? How many hours do you work? Do you have more than one job or PT job? I was being nice, patient - I know that currently the jobs numbers are very important. The government wants to know who is working and who is not ??? Check the tax rolls fools…. But, again, I was being nice and even though it was getting on my nerves I did my best to answer the same questions over and over and over again. Then I received...

I would like to thank Maria Mathy for the email she sent - made me luagh out load - oh I mean ...LOL Tough Love vs. Spanking - Good Argument Most people think it improper to spank children, so I have tried other methods to control my kids when they have one of 'those moments.' One that I found effective is for me to just take the child for a car ride and talk. Some say it's the vibration from the car, others say it's the time away from any distractions such as TV, Video Games, Computer, IPod, etc. Either way, my kids usually calm down and stop misbehaving after our car ride together. Eye to eye contact helps a lot too. I've included a photo below of one of my sessions with my son, in case you would like to use the technique. Sincerely, Robert This works with nieces and nephews as well.

Airport Escapades - night of confusion! As most families do - I went to the airport to pick up my in-laws. Their flight was arriving at 9:45pm and I expected them to be late. After all, when did any flight arrive on time. But not even two thirds on the way I get a phone call from my in-laws??? Yes, their flight had already landed and they were wondering where we were. So I applied a bit more pressure to the gas pedal and off I went. If the trip wasn’t bad enough with finding no attendee at the toll booth and barley having enough change - the night only got worst. I went around the airport trying to get to section A and find the jet blue station for arriving flights. Ofcourse just as I found the arriving flight section for jet blue I get a call from my mother in-law telling me she was at the departing section - How? I don’t know. So around the airport I went again to the departing area - get there and I can’t find them. So one more call and my father-in-law tells me they’re in the secti...

Ok, this happened for real - this is a true story. So all you blondes, please - don't be offended. It's a joke but also a true story. So here we go: I was working in the store and a sweet blonde older woman walked in. She was excitedly flustered and greeted me with a desperate plea - “can you help me? I don't know what's wrong with my cell phone. it's not working at all.” As I took the phone from her hand to inspect it - she embarrassedly explained how she did everything she could do to make it work... she put it to charge, she checked the battery, she made sure the phone wasn't damaged.... but it did not want to work. After a minute of playing with it I put it in her hand and said - there you go it's working. She gasp with elation and asked me how did I fix her phone: I quietly told her - I turned it on.... Don’t want to believe me - fine.. But it happened, it is a true story. I felt so bad for her, I didn’t want her to be embarrassed or feel stupid. But he...

No, I didn't take this video - just found it in one of my computer file folders. I'm not sure what they were thinking or if my wife just wanted to record my son doing a little jig or something.