What you think does matter

Ok, it has been awhile but this one was way to good - it is time for a real funny blonde joke. And by "REAL" I mean real. Not a joke but something that truely happened that happened to be funny and invovled a blonde. No, I can not verify her blondeness since it was sort of a bleached blonde kind of color - but she acted like a blonde. Here we go: I am working at the Mall for the black friday and christmas season and I am sitting in this kiosk just watching people go by. The mall is not bussy and there is not much to do, so I am just watching people to kill the time. I noticed that this one older blonde has passed by my kiosk several times. She seemed to be looking for something and she is looking at all the stores intensly. So about the fifth time around she stops to scratch her head [ thinking I guess ]. So to be helpful and to break the boredom I asked if I could help. She smiles and says - this sounds stupid but I've been trying to find linda's nail Salon. I smile...

How do you know your getting old? Here is a good question: How do you know your getting old? I have been noticing that beside the fact that my age is showing - you know, grey hair, wrinkles, tiring easily and the hair thing….. I have also notice the not so subtle things that scream “old” to those around me. Take for instance: 1- A new fashion craze seems oddly similar to an old fashion when you were a kid. 2- You like new hip music because unknowing to you it sampled an old favorite song of yours. 3- New tv shows, movies and so forth annoys you because it doesn’t do justice to the original series. 4- When you try to help your kids with their homework you find out that “NO” you are not smarter than a fifth grader. I guess the biggest clue I had in realizing how age is creeping up on me is this one obvious clue - I was sitting at work, I got up and realized I had some how sprained my ankle. I figure I’d walk it off - not good. I figured that I would bounce back and tomorrow I would be ba...

Airport Escapades - night of confusion! As most families do - I went to the airport to pick up my in-laws. Their flight was arriving at 9:45pm and I expected them to be late. After all, when did any flight arrive on time. But not even two thirds on the way I get a phone call from my in-laws??? Yes, their flight had already landed and they were wondering where we were. So I applied a bit more pressure to the gas pedal and off I went. If the trip wasn’t bad enough with finding no attendee at the toll booth and barley having enough change - the night only got worst. I went around the airport trying to get to section A and find the jet blue station for arriving flights. Ofcourse just as I found the arriving flight section for jet blue I get a call from my mother in-law telling me she was at the departing section - How? I don’t know. So around the airport I went again to the departing area - get there and I can’t find them. So one more call and my father-in-law tells me they’re in the secti...

I should buy my children "Red Neck shirts" - or atleast make my own red neck shirts, you know the t-shirts with the funny not so politically correct red neck jokes. Really, it must be something in the southern air, maybe the water - or just the area - but how can you be so dumb. Well, let's not say dumb, my kids are not dumb - but sometimes I wonder. my duaghter should have a red neck shirt that says: " how do you dial 911 ? " I am no geniuses - just ask my wife. But by God, what are my kids learning in school. I mean, I was talking to my duaghter [ seriouse conversation ] about safty. I told her if you ever get in trouble just call "911" .... she gave me this look and said "how do you dial 911 ..." ??? what ???? Did you just have a red neck moment - are you here or are your brians on vacation? You don't know how to dial 911 - even a red neck knows how to dial 911! You know I could have let it past but it was such a DUH kind of thing. You...

Here are some stories I've been saving for when my kids grow up - actual events - funny.... It is very important to always know what to do in case of an emergency. It can save lives to be prepared. While walking down the street one day, my wife mistook the sound of a car back firing for the sound of a gun shot. She immediately went into action. She grabbed my arm and screamed “ everyone, STOP, DROP and Roll !” As a father, I try to teach my children the best way I know how. When my son turned two (2), he and my daughter found it an enjoyable exercise to run wildly around the house. Since my son does everything his sister does, I explained to my little girl that I wanted her to walk, not run in the house. It was a dangerous and unsafe thing to do, that is how people get hurt. If your running you can easily run into something and seriously get hurt. Feeling sure she understood what I was telling her, I turned around and walked straight into the closed glass porch door.... We decide...

Some times I can’t help but wonder- is this really my life? Is this what I really wanted? What about my marriage, my kids - me??? Yeah life throws you some curve balls and your spouse and kids can drive you up the wall….. But then I think of all the laughs, jokes, fun and good times we’ve had and shared - and say … what a waste -- no, just joking. I can’t imagine my life any better with out them. Especially without my boy and girl…life wouldn’t be the same without them. So just incase your having a "need a smile" day - hear is an old marriage joke I revised and turned into art..

Every Morning is a challenge - but this one was a whole defferent story. Some of you may not know but, I went to venice, Florida for some training and took the family so they could enjoy the beach [ another story I'll share next post - life is so unfair ....]. So, when we came back - trying to get these kids ready for school the next morning was a nightmare. My son, he acted like a wet noodle. I'd pick him up so he could stand and he would just melt and slide down into the bed. My duaghter - well - you can just imagine how she got up. Not a happy camper. In fact my son fell asleep on the way to school - what a twist. So here is some art to enjoy and tell me what you think.

Whats your name girl? Ever wonder what a name means, or where it came from. Do you know why or where your parents choose your name - or why they decided to name you after uncle Bob? I was having a bit of fun with the girls and going back to the old days where I use to make silly songs out of their names - I decided to have some fun - at their expense of course. How do you pronounce your name?

I had all these great ideas for the blog - but my internet connection went out for most of the day. Dumb me, I didn’t write them down and now - well, I’m stuck. But I figure you might enjoy this cartoon [ comic strip ] I created a while back. I think it’s funny, it’s a couple of years old and may be out dated, but maybe you might get a laugh. the idea behing this is that after my duaghter was born, most of the TV I watched was kids shows... and some times, it would drive me mad. Can you imagine a grown man singing the Barney song..... I can stil hear it... "I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME....."

Flight attendants in Thailand are up in arms about a popular soap opera which they say insults their profession. "War of Angels" features flight attendants committing adultery and getting involved in cat fights. Air crew say the programme is "insulting." They're so fed up they've delivered a petition to the government demanding the soap is dropped from the schedules. --------------------------- I wonder what that says about us [America] we have television that not only fictitiously portrays adulterers and liars and so forth but now were on a being of reality TV where we can watch shows like "Cheaters" real adulterers and shows that show women going on a date with five men or hey - what about Apprentice and Survivor - you can really see dirt fly there..... they think their offended. I'm offended to be called an American.

Did You Know..... Coca-Cola was originally green. ---------------------------------------- It is impossible to lick your elbow. ---------------------------------------- The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work : Alaska ---------------------------------------- The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven : $6,400 ---------------------------------------- The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour : 61,000 --------------------------------------- Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair. ---------------------------------------- The first novel ever written on a typewriter : Tom Sawyer. -------------------------------------- Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king in history: Spades - King David Hearts - Charlemagne Clubs -Alexander, the Great Diamonds - Julius Caesar ---------------------------------------- 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ------------------------------...

It's an interesting thought - a road that humms a tune so you wont be bored or feel bad for humming a song as you try to pay attention to the road. But I have a few thoughts: 1- ofcourse it has to be in japan - becuase in america, who can hear the road over my MP3 player.... 2- if I could hear the song humming, it would probably be late at night and it would put me to sleep [ not good ]. 3- With all the pot holes I encounter - no wonder everything sounds like hip hop....lol

Is it me or do they have a fixation with the toilet Bowl? First came the toilet Bowl shaped house - now thier eating out of toilet bowls.......? Nov. 17 - A diner in the capital of Taiwan is attracting clients with toilet humour. The Modern Toilet diner is one of 12 eateries with a toilet theme scattered across the island of Taiwan. Daragh Burke reports.

I need my next fix – Am I addicted? Well here I am in the library trying to write my post on my blog when I realized I have a serious addiction. And I didn’t even know it! What happened? Well, my computer crashed and it’s in the repair shop – it’s been 6 days and I’ve spent all my time thinking about my computer, finding and using other computers with internet access in order to log on to my sites and blogs. Then it hit me, I’m like a junkie running all over town looking for my fix? I can’t believe it. I didn’t realize how needy I am. How much I obsess with my online activities. Yea I thought I spent too much time online – but, when you have to go cold turkey… you start to crave it even more. You know you’ve hit rock bottom when your at the library ready to push some elderly woman out from in front of the computer you want……… Boy I have it bad. Oh how I miss my computer. Nice clean, slick, set up with all my list of fav’s and ready to guide me in this online world ....... Oh God help m...

This is funny and great! It's nice to see some funny clean jokes. I can relate to much of this as I grew up. She just cracks you up. In fact I take the hotel shampoo home with me ??? Lord forgive me!!!! But it brings a thought to mind - do you need a dirty joke inorder to laugh??