What you think does matter

I ran across a very funny joke online - you have to read it.... Funny Doctor and Spaghetti joke... A doctor started having an affair with his nurse. A short while later, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy. Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you." Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack

Some times I can’t help but wonder- is this really my life? Is this what I really wanted? What about my marriage, my kids - me??? Yeah life throws you some curve balls and your spouse and kids can drive you up the wall….. But then I think of all the laughs, jokes, fun and good times we’ve had and shared - and say … what a waste -- no, just joking. I can’t imagine my life any better with out them. Especially without my boy and girl…life wouldn’t be the same without them. So just incase your having a "need a smile" day - hear is an old marriage joke I revised and turned into art..

Parenting Advice: REACH FOR YOUR GUNS !!!! Before you think my “Parenting Advice” is abusive or comes from the NRA [ national riffle association ] handbook let me just say - it’s a figure of speech. My parenting advice is meant to [ Mom or dad - best both ] have a plan of action. Let me tell you a little story - here I am walking thru the grocery store and I notice a Mom with a small child [ looks to be 4 yrs old ] and she seems to be loosing it. Her kid is not listening to her, he is embarrassing her and she seems to be frozen - unsure what to do. Me, I would have smacked him up side the head [ figure of speech people ] and put and end to it. But many people think different. I had people say they don’t hit their child in public because they don’t want people talking [ clarification - nosy people calling child services ]. Some have told me that they just talk to their children they don’t hit them... Others - they just freak - their so embarrassed that their kid is acting up in public

I agree: Women are stronger than Men! I was having a conversation with my wife and a female friend of hers and some how it turned into this cock fight - I don’t know how we got into the topic but before I knew it two women were telling me that “women are stronger than men“… That men could not survive without women. Ofcourse instinctively my mind went into defense mode and I was thinking of all these witty come backs: Men have always been stronger - just look at caveman… If women are so strong why do you need us to open a jar… If women are so strong, why doesn’t that teenage girl golfer ever win against the men… If women are so strong why …and then it hit me, that empty shell I call a brain stopped and I looked at my son, looked at my wife and told my wife’s friend : “your right, women are stronger than men. If only because no man could endure the process of natural child birth…” They both looked at me, smiled, gloated and forgot about it and went on with what we were origina

School, strange request? Here is a funny thought: My daughter comes home from school and after spending time arguing with her brother and driving me a bit batty - she tells me the teacher gave me homework. What? She said that I had to do it and that it was due tomorrow. Well, first I was not in a good mood and second I don't have to do anything... [ got that out of my system ] My so called school homework was to describe my child to the teacher in a million words or less - funny, a million words or less. Right now I can use one - bother or pest or well you know... Ofcourse my first reaction was - you have to be kidding right. After all - isn't the teachers job to assess my child? Besides what parent wouldn't lie thru their teeth about their child on a thing like this. It's like filling out a resume - you put all the good things and leave out all the bad. It's what I do. Then my wife came in, took over and wrote this glowing inspiring report about my daughter - as he

A friend and a blog fan made a request for new material.... read more below, below A Friend and a blog fan asked me to try and do [ use ] new material for the blog. She told me just last Wednesday that she checks her email for my "email updates' with a giddy expectation to see whats new on the blog. She says she loves all the jokes, the pictures of the kids and the dog - but she was wondering if I had anything new, defferent. Well, this put a lot of pressure on me to create something new. after all - the blog is about the insanity that is my world - meaning my kids and the spouse. And if I don't want to sleep with the dog, the spouse is off limits.... So after several hours of thinking and thinking - I cracked, I could not perform under this pressure. So I created the above photo gallery slide show for you, yes you Betsy - hope you like it..... it's something new! See you sunday ...

A lesson in Humility from a King. I am sure we've all done it, I know I have. You sit there upset because you know you deserve better. In fact you expect better - after all - your special. My kids do it all the time - they act like things are a given - they forget and I occasionally have to remind them that my love for them does not make them deserving of everything. You still have to work for things and you can't get everything you want. But I ran across this news video [ posted below - excuse the ad ] - it reports on this African King who is in New York and he drives a bus. Unlike the Eddie Murphy movie "coming to America" he isn't rich - but he is humble. He doesn't want people to know that he is a King. In fact he is here working hard to help 20,000 people that live in his tiny kingdom village - he's trying to build a well for drinking water. Which surprised me. You see, my first thought was - hey a bus driver who learns he's a king - boy he has it

Oh look out generals back!! Well, guess whose back? Yep that little dog with the big name "general". General is cool but he just has a weird effect on my family. My wife treats him like a baby, probably gives him more attention than me. My daughter - she treats him like a china doll - afraid that everything will hurt the dog. look out here, look out with the dog... no he'll get hurt... leave the dog alone Isaac.. My son is the funniest of them all - this kid of mine spends most of his time calling general to him only to run in fear when general comes near him. It only gets worst in the morning when my wife lets the dog loose, my son does not want an excited pup jumping on him at six thirty in the morning - lord help me. Don't let these pictures fool you - it takes all the nerve my son can muster just to be this close without getting hysterical... Well, general is going to be here for a while [ helping out a friend ] so I better get use to the insanity. Look at me...

Ever get lost. Too embarrassed to ask for directions? Are you the type that wont take directions? Well I have a funny story for you. When I first married and moved to Florida - before the kids and all that. My wife wanted to take a trip to miami - you know, look at the beach. Now I didn’t want to go and I let it be known, but I went, I even did the driving. We drove over 600 miles that day why. Because when I finally got to the beach in miami, I was still unhappy and again let it be known - so we argued for 5 minutes, looked at the beach for 2 minutes and then got back in the car to drive back home. of course the traffic was bad and I got lost. It took the insisting nagging push of my wife to get me to ask a police officer [ sheriff here in Florida ] for help with directions. Once on the road it was late and my wife doze off. of course again I got [ let say ] confused and took the Florida turnpike [ wrong, really wrong ] I had no idea where I was, how to get off and I was not going to

What do you do when your facing down possible hurricane It’s been about three or four years since several Hurricanes came thru our town and brought a stop to the belief that people were safe inland. So when the reports came in that tropical storm “fay” was projected to become a level 1 hurricane - lets just say some people went bonkers. I’m glad it didn’t turn out as bad as it was predicted - but there has been a lot of damage, especially flood damage around all parts of Florida. We did our part to get ready for the storm after that we just had to sit and wait. So what do you do while you wait for the worst and try to keep your family calm? Here is what I did: Watched chicken little movie with family Played black jack with kiki Played uno w/ kiki Played with my son Ate dinner together - early just in case Relaxed as son played in shower and daughter played her DS Played battleship w/ kiki Talk with wife and helped clean up [ she always clean when nervous] Relax as waiting for next “fay

First Day of school - first trip of this school year. I don’t know what was worst - being all torn up and trying to be tough or watching my little boys eyes well up with tears as we left him at school all alone. Well not alone - but with out us. I’m sure by now he has a friend and doesn’t remember we exist. It was a hard day for the wife - little girl in middle school [jr high] and little boy starting school - driving her to school was tough - she’s holding back the tears and I’m trying to be strong. Imagine if we both would have broken down..... Here I am - alone at home thinking of when I have to pick him up. Who knew I would miss him so much. Man that kid has me all messed up. Excited but always playing Little girl - first day of Jr High [ middle school ] Have to look good you know - my kids......

It’s a dark day at my house, the first day of Pre-K school is this Monday and today we had to take my four year old son to his school orientation. Getting the family ready today was hectic and probably an indication that everyday from here on forward will be the same. Personally I’m torn - I want my boy to grow up and all that - yet I want him to stay my little man. My buddy I spend my days with. My partner in fighting crime [ or more like committing crimes against my wife wishes.... ] First it was the shock of having my baby girl turn eleven and starting jr high [ here it’s called ‘middle school’ ]. Now I’m faced with my little guy starting school and it’s a bit too much to handle. I know - your thinking I should be celebrating - wee their off to school - I get a break.... But maybe I’m just weird that way. Tell me, who really wants their kids to grow up and face the inevitable that they will leave you and worst - that your growing old. First it’s the first day of school, then they wa

I used to have a boss who apparently only felt comfortable when she made everyone else feel inferior [ dumb ]. It didn't matter what was happening or if she was wrong - as long as she made you look dumb - she was happy. I am so glad I don't work for her any more. That's why I work hard to teach my kids [ especially my daughter ] to value themselves, to feel confident in themselves. Theres nothing wrong with being shy or wrong - but never think less of yourself. Also, it doesn't matter if it's your boss, friend or family, your important and have value... don't let anyone tell you different.

Gummy Bear and My kids - Lord help me... I wrote a post a day or two ago about making sure my kids watch intelligent stuff and the challenge I face with them watching what I call ‘dumb programming”. I also wrote about how as parents we have to be diligent protecting our kids from “improper things” on the internet. I was watching TV in the living room and as usual I decided to sneak up on my kids and take a look at what they were doing online. Normally my daughter gets online to play on kid friendly social sites like Penguin. But what really caught my ear was the singing - especially the catchy toon I heard coming from my computer. Like I said - I wish my kids would watch only intelligent programming - but sometimes I even get caught up with some of these catchy silly videos. I’m not happy she was on Youtube but relieved to find her watching this silly Gummy bear video [ it’s had 10,405,136 views ] That didn't stop me from giving her the parential speech....

In poor taste? My significant other saw a video clip [ part of a video ] I was creating and said that it was done in “poor taste” on my part. Well, I’ll let you be the judge of the complete work. The goal behind this video was to help me talk about the “Effects Movies can have on children”. You see, we let our kids watch just about anything on TV, videos, internet or in the movies. I don’t mean you personally or I myself - I personally try very hard to shield my kids from a lot of programming on TV. But I will admit that America as a whole - parents don’t really concern themselves with what their kids watch. I also admit that there are times I let them watch things they really shouldn’t. Not because it’s bad but because it can effect them adversely. I know this will sound silly and it’s embarrassing to me - but I a grown adult can’t seem to take a shower or use the bathroom without wondering if someone is just on the other side of that shower curtain. Really, Psycho [ Hitchcock's o

Kids are kids and I know from my experiences of my youth that kids are attracted to dumb things. But as a parent, I just wish my kids would do more than watch things like Sponge bob and Some of these dumb silly cartoons. Not that my kinds turn into vegetables or coach potatoes during the summer. My little has done a lot to improve her math skills over this summer - but she seems drawn to [ what I call - dumb cartoons]. I remember when all she watched was animal planet, Emerald Leggasse and other constructive and educational programming. But sometimes - even the kids in me over whelms the adult in me. I walked into my room yesterday and found my daughter and son singing and dancing to this video and I instinctively joined in on the dance craze. I’m such a bad parent….. LOL The Hippo video

Funny pictures and my crazy mind. Put the two together and you might find something to laugh at - I hope. Enjoy the 4th installment of funny pictures and my thoughts. Hey wait a minute - I'm not wearing a mask. Passing gas, how cute... [ only a baby ]

I lie to me kids all the time - well, more like exaggerate the truth. As a parent you find your kids doing something they shouldn’t - it’s a natural course of being a parent. And your always telling them what not to do and the kids - well, they are always asking why. Over the years I’ve adopted a madness to my method of correction. I just don't tell my kids to “stop that” but I also include "my crazy reason" why they should stop that in my command. Of course - sometimes the reason why is a bit more playful or exaggerated than need be. I guess it helps throw them off course and they would rather laugh than ask me - Why can’t I dad..... Here are some example of my crazy silly statements: * Don’t pick your nose, you’ll scratch your brain. * Don’t put your hand there, it’ll fall off! * Don’t pick your butt - your hand will smell bad for days. * Cover your nose when you sneeze, your brain will fall out! * Don’t jump on the sofa, you’ll fall and crack the floor. * Don’t fart, y

Ah, the world I live in and the craziness that follows. My life is full of insanity, and my crazy unstable mind has thoughts on these funny pictures. Tell me what you think and have a good funny laugh. Talk about high gas prices effecting your life. Drinking is bad for everyone Are you feeling safe & Secure today ? East meet West ... So much for political correctness.

I couldn't help it. When your bored on a saturday afternoon and you've been left alone and all you have is your internet - funny things happen. Here is my second installment of funny pictures and my thoughts. Well, when your hungry - anything looks good. I didn't say it, I just point out the facts... Sometimes it's best not to get involved.... Someone call the fire department!